|
One year at my office holiday party when
I was still in the closet, I brought a female friend of mine
who has rather large breasts. Well, one of my co-workers got
a bit too drunk and not realizing that his whispering was actually
quite audible says to this other guy "I'd love to titty-fuck
her!" My date overheard this, got pissed, and then walked
over to the guy and said loudly: "I doubt if your needle
dick could get the job done!" Oh My God! There was stunned
silence. The guy then apologized and his wife - who wasn't quite
sure what was happening - got him out of there quickly. How about this for an office party story?
It happened a couple of years ago. I wanted to have a bit more
fun at the party and went to the bathroom to snort some cocaine.
I returned to the festivities and the first people I run into
and start talking to are my boss and the director of personnel.
Shortly after I join them I realize that they have concerned
looks on their faces and then my boss abruptly walks away. Then
the personnel director sternly whispers in my ear, "You
need to go back into the bathroom, wipe away the white powdery
substance that's around your nostrils, which I assume is coke,
and then go home. Report to my office first thing on Monday morning!"
I was so cold busted! I have the worst story EVER! It was a
department outing, so about 15 of us at this restaurant in their
private party room. There was lots of alcohol consumed, and
so as we are seated around the table about to eat dinner, our
boss, with newfound liquid courage, decides to tell everyone
that he's gay. We already knew that so it wasn't a big deal.
But then he decides to tell us that he has HIV/AIDS. Now this
is back in the late 1980s when such news usually meant death,
so the mood immediately got somber and a few folks even start
crying. But it got worse. After our boss sits his drunk ass
down, the even drunker Assistant Department Manager stands up
to let us know that she is about to retire because she has colon
cancer. She starts crying and then everyone else who wasn't already
crying starts crying. It was absolutely horrendous. Like I
said, the worst holiday party EVER! When I first started at this company at
my first office holiday party, after several Martinis, some flirting,
and then outright suggestive innuendo, I ended up in a conference
room trading blow jobs with my boss's husband. And get this:
we've done the same thing at each holiday party every year.
What's this year, 2008? So this will be the 8th year. Apparently
he's on the "down low" or something and my poor boss
and their 3 children have no idea. I thought about telling her,
but that's not my place. Besides, I kinda look forward to my
yearly blow jobs with him. I was the holiday party cliché
one year. I got really drunk and basically I'm a bit obnoxious
when I'm drunk. I vaguely remember - a friend filled me in later
on some of the details - but apparently I grabbed the boobs of
one girl and then overtly made a pass at a male co-worker while
we were both standing at the urinal. Apparently I offered to
suck his dick. Obviously this was back in my sexual ambiguity
days. Then as a topper, I cussed my boss out: told him he was
a son-of-a-bitch, and that I deserved a bigger raise than what
he gave me. While I apologized to everyone the next day, my position
was "restructured" soon thereafter, and not surprisingly,
I was out of a job. All I can say is be careful at an office
holiday party when using the bathroom and asking a co-worker
standing next to you at the urinal if you can suck his dick.
And then actually doing it. Your boss might be sitting down
on the toilet in a stall listening. Alcohol consumption can be
a very dangerous. |
