For this edition of "ITKOTG", we're going to highlight where you can cruise for a big ole yule log (emphasis on "big" and "log"). So whether a top, bottom, or versatile, we hope December brings all that you want!

Big Gay Holiday Happenings
Outside of a bar environment, one of the best places for gay male bonding is at a theatre event. Mingling before, during, and after the shows usually produces an exchange of telephone numbers and subsequent 'Seasons Greetings' booty calls. You are advised to check out the CHICAGO GAY MEN'S CHORUS' "Fruitcake," 'the holiday show that's chock full of fruits and nuts!' The Hearty Boys are special guests, and we're not sure what that's all about, but the annual holiday songfest takes place at the Athenaeum Theater (2936 N. Southport Ave.) on Friday, December 7 (8pm) and on Saturday, December 8 (3pm & 8pm). Our favorite cabaret act, AMY & FREDDY, hit the stage this season with "How The Diva Stole Christmas 2" at the Lakeshore Theater (3175 N. Broadway). Two weekends worth of shows: December 7-9 & 20-22 @ 7:30pm and December 23 @ 4pm.

Back again, it's the cross-dressing "Rudolph The Red Hosed Reindeer" presented by HELL IN A HANDBAG at the Bailiwick Theatre (1229 W. Belmont). The show days and times in December: Fridays @ 10pm; Saturdays @ 7pm; and Sundays @ 3pm. "Barenaked Lads" are also showing off their stuff at the Bailiwick during December: Fridays @ 8pm and Saturdays @ 10pm.

Cruising To Late Night Beats
BERLIN's popularity is still going strong after all these years with a line-up that includes "Elevated" on Thursdays (DJ Heather Doble), "Cosmix" on Fridays (DJ Greg Haus), and "Twisted" on Saturdays (DJs Larissa & Chester). Of course the best cruising here occurs in the back near the men's room. The best pick-up spot at JACKHAMMER seems to be toward the rear of the main floor bar, especially when DJ Oskar is spinning on Wednesday and Thursday nights and for the monthly "Underwear Party" on Saturday, December 15.

When at HYDRATE in December to dance to DJs David Knapp (8th), Ralphi Rosario (14th), or Tony Moran (15th), make sure to check out the back wall opposite the DJ booth for the best trick possibilities. And at CHARLIE'S when DJ Lulu is tearing things up, target the slightly drunk but oh-so-horny boys who have lost all patience with their really drunk friends and are looking for any excuse to leave the club with a new friend.

Rhythmic Mating In Boystown
Twenty-somethings rule the roost on Wednesdays for SPIN's "What The F$*k!" $1 Drink Night. Opportunities for pick-ups throughout the club are ubiquitous and are more likely in the 1 o'clock hour. And don't forget the "Wet Shower" contests on Fridays, which seem to have a hornifying effect on the crowd. The very hot Spank Go-Go boys as well as the patrons get all worked and boned up at COCKTAIL as they groove to DJs Michael Serafini (Tuesdays), Freddie Bain (Fridays), and Pete Augusta (Sundays).
Nightly dancing at ROSCOE'S to the likes of DJs Kevy, Mixmaster F, and Duane features solid cruising on the edges of the dance floor and the perfect setting to close the deal in the bar area. And for those who haven't mastered the art of cruising, Sunday's "Male Call" with Miss Foozie is just what the doctor ordered. Professionally licensed pick-up artists find welcomed challenges amidst other experts at the video bar SIDETRACK, frozen slushy drinks in hand, on Mondays for "Showtunes" and on Thursdays for "Comedy Night." High-energy dance videos on Friday and Saturday nights signal a full house cock-hound free for all.

The trendy and the hip sip martinis and make googily eyes at each other at MINIBAR with DJs Oskar, Phil Da Beats, and Chris Eterno laying down the beats Fridays - Sundays, respectively. Brand new SCARLET has yet to really establish its cruising reputation, but there's no doubt the music will be slamming with DJs AJ Dubbz, Carla Starla, and Jim providing the soundscapes.

The Old Guard
The OGs of the community do their "fellowship" work in Boystown at BUCK'S until 2am and then over at LITTLE JIM'S until the wee hours of the morning. Further north on the strip, the furtive glances and exchange of numbers are reported to be at high volume in the produce department as well as the hot food/salad bar area at WHOLE FOODS. For more traditional cruising environments on the northern edge of Boystown, leathermen gather at CELL BLOCK, pool and dart players at THE NORTH END, and professional drinkers at BOBBY LOVES. Not really known for overt cruising, KIT KAT LOUNGE & SUPPER CLUB always offers the opportunity to drink for cheap: _-price martinis on Sundays and Tuesdays and free wine on Thursdays.

The fetishistic in the city head up to TOUCHÉ for "Hardcore Leather Night" on Tuesdays and "Handballer Night" on Thursdays. "Dungeon Night" with Master Timothy takes place on Saturday, December 8 while "Onyx Club Night" happens on Friday, December 21. The leathermen also hang out at CHICAGO EAGLE, which has a dress code for its Club Room on Fridays, Saturdays, and Tuesdays.

Northside Romper Rooms
Sly but noticeable cruising is par for the course at BIG CHICKS, especially on Fridays and Saturdays when dance music pulses through the Salon. Easy pick-up conversations about your fave athletic teams can be had at CREW. Don't like sports? They have "Man The Mic Karaoke" on Tuesdays and show "Project Runway" every Wednesday.

The comfy atmosphere in MARY'S ATTIC lends itself to friendly conversation and a potential neighborhood romp. DJs Shoshana and Plez spin on Friday and Saturday nights, respectively, while Sundays in December features the comedic musical satire "Geisha-Gaysha" @ 7pm. The monthly "54 Cabaret" show will take place at @MOSPHERE on Wednesday, December 12. Meanwhile, Saturday nights has DJ Timmy Loop spinning the groove for strippers and their admirers.

Target Markets
The hip-hop crowd will bump and grind their carnal intentions at "Ear-Rotic" with DJ Stoney @ SPIN on Saturdays, December 15 & 22. DJs Anton & Kenae pump out the urban blend for "Xotik" on Saturdays @ TOYKO 21 (901 Weed St.) and for "Penthouse" on Sundays @ CLUB 720.

Latin heat gets sparked throughout the weekend on the southside at CHESTERFIELD CLUB, where pick-up lines are uttered in English and Spanish. This bi-lingual cruising takes place on the northside at CIRCUIT NIGHTCLUB every Thursday and Sunday and at the monthly "AMIGO" party on Saturday, December 15.

Hook-ups of all the gay, straight, and "other" variety are plentiful every Monday night during "Boom Boom Room" at GREEN DOLPHIN STREET. The mercurial DJ Tedd Patterson will be on hand December 10 while Blaze is set to appear at a special edition "BBR" on Sunday, December 23.

Before exchanging bodily fluids, the downtown office worker crowd exchange business cards at either GENTRY ON STATE, which features cabaret entertainment, or at SECOND STORY BAR, the place most popular with holiday shoppers. Fans of live cabaret performances also hang out at DAVENPORT'S in Wicker Park, 3160 in Lakeview and CORNELIA'S in the heart of Boystown.

Suburbanites north do their trolling at HUNTERS with DJs Laura B on the weekends and RON G for Wednesday night's "MWM." Folks living in the southern suburbs find happiness at THE EDGE BAR with DJs Rockin' RC and Pervy on Fridays and Saturdays, respectively.

Direct Marketing -
STEAMWORKS, the full-service all-male club, gym, and sauna, features a "Lights Out" party every Thursday, the "Boys With Balls" jock play party on Saturday, December 15 and the "Bears, Bath & Beyond" play party on Saturday, December 22. The all-nude stripper shows at MAN'S COUNTRY features the men of Sarabia on Fridays and Saturdays.