Well my kittens, Tis' the season that we all should have reason! With the weather turning bitter, there is no reason for you to feel bitter too. So, send me a letter either e-mail to Dear.Daisy@sbcglobal.net or you can always send it to me with a postal worker to BOI Magazine c/o Dear Daisy 3708 N. Halsted Ave., Chicago IL 60613. Now let's see what's on your mind!

Dear Daisy,
My ex is in prison now but will be out soon, wanting us to be together again. I love him with all my heart and some but I don't be hurt again and the odds say that it's
unavoidable. Or is it? I can't imagine spending my life and sharing my bed with anyone else, but should I choose him I also lose my family. What should I do?
Thief of Hearts

Dear Thief,
People are under the mistaken impression that they've got just one true love out there. Truth be told there's plenty of love, and hot monkey love, to be found. Just because you love someone doesn't make the relationship right. If you two have a good, solid, honest relationship built on respect and love, then I say damn your family, full speed ahead. But I'm going to guess that your relationship with your ex isn't quite that positive. Sure, you still love him... I care about one of my ex's but I'd never get back together with him. I deserve a healthy, positive relationship and so do you.

Dear Daisy,
I need to answer a question no one knows the answer to why can't we have day light savings time all the time in Eastern North America. Right now in middle of Nov we've moved the clocks back so now it gets dark at 5:00 pm EST

Why can't we leave it all the time one hour ahead like in the summer so we have more daylight in the late
afternoon in the winter?
Signed,
Medusa

Dear Medusa,
We can't change time because that's the way The Man wants it. Sure, it doesn't make much sense unless you're a farmer, but neither does the fact that we all use QWERTY keyboards despite that fact that they contribute to hand and back strain. No one is interested in the best ideas, only the most popular. How do you think Microsoft became so popular?

Dear Daisy,
I LOVE you, and really want to get with you. Let me know.
Signed,
BIG guy,

Dear BIG guy,
Thanks but I've already had enough loving from big guys. I put those days behind me when I left prison.
Happy Holidays!

Dear Daisy,
I have a problem that may seem insignificant to others but to me is horribly annoying!

I recently moved into what I thought was the perfect
apartment... great area, good neighborhood, well maintained, etc. The problem that has been grating at me though is that I can hear EVERYTHING my upstairs neighbors do! I hear them walking around, I hear muffled conversations; I hear the radio and TV. I can't TAKE IT! I don't feel comfortable with my surroundings and this makes me unhappy.. its all I can think about!
Please help me solve my problem!
Signed,
Tired of Listening

Dear Tired of Listening,
It's great, isn't it? Don't you just love hearing your neighbors alarm in the morning their television in the evening? The only part that makes it worth it is when they start gettin' it on, except my neighbor upstairs. I don't think he lasts more than a minute or two. I feel sorry for his
girlfriend.

Ultimately there's only one solution to your problem, aside from slaughtering everyone in your complex, that is. You'll have to move. I recommend buying a house. There you'll have complete silence in which to contemplate the massive debt you're in.
And remember, if you can hear your neighbors, they can hear you just as well.

Dear Daisy.
I can't help but say it. I'm a racist. I can't tell if it's a product of instinct or my peers. My friends want me to join a small KKK group. Yet, for some strange reason I have the tendency to look twice at (and even dated one) large young black males. Should I ignore these urges or keep them inside?
Signed,
Needin some hot monkey love in AL

Dear Needin some hot monkey love in AL,
Racism is nothing more than ignorance taken to an
extreme. Sure, everyone has their own reality but I think we've passed the point where any sane person could make the argument that blacks are inferior and believe it to be a solid one. There's simply too much proof to the contrary. And besides, there's enough hate in this world. What we need more hot lovin'.
Take the high road, my friend.