Dear Daisy,
I have recently quit smoking cigarettes, but I still have severe cravings especially when I smoke pot. You see, I really prefer a pot buzz to alcohol and I really don't want to give up something I enjoy. How can I make heads or tails out of this situation, I know you can help.

Signed,
Smoke-free in the City

Dear Smoke-Free, First of all congratulations for giving up smoking cigarettes, it's a filthy and dangerous habit. But if you don't want to smoke pot, bake cookies! That's right, cookies, brownies or you can even sprinkle some of that weed in your spaghetti sauce! Pot has been used for years as a culinary additive for that special boost. Here is my recipe for Buzznana Bread. It is one of my favorites. You can also make Chronic Chocolate chip brownies and Crippling chip cookies! Ingredients: 1/2 cup pot-margarine (3/4 oz weed to 5 sticks butter for a light batch) 2 cups all-purpose flour 3 bananas (very ripe) 1/2 sour cream or milk 1 cup sugar 2 eggs 1 teaspoon baking soda 1/2 teaspoon vanilla Directions: 1) Preheat oven to 350 degrees. 2) Beat the margarine, eggs, sour cream (or milk), and sugar in a large bowl 3) Add baking soda and vanilla 4) Add flour slowly while beating 5) When mixed, add the bananas and beat until mostly smashed 6) Place in a greased loaf baking pan and bake for one hour - Makes 1 loaf

Dear Daisy,
I have a really big head compared to the rest of my body, it's quite obvious. I am not sure what happened in my development but something went terribly wrong. Anyway, the guys at the clubs seem to look at me funny, It really hurts me and I am not sure what I can do about it, any ideas?

Signed,
Headly

 

 

Dear Headly, Come here, sit on Aunt Daisy's lap... don't listen to the kids at the clubs, they are just jealous. Only awesome people have giant heads. I have a big old head. My brother has a gigantic head. A large percentage of famous people have big heads, and look at Oprah! Her head is bigger than my head, your head put together. I suggest you start swinging your big old head all over the place. Walk it down the street. Point it at people. They will love it. Grow your hair out all crazy so your head looks even bigger. So what if you can't wear a baseball hat? NEITHER CAN ANYONE ELSE THAT IS AWESOME. We should start a freaking club. If your head circumference is smaller than 21 inches, YOU ARE NOT INVITED. Then you can tell the guys at the Clubs to give you head and make that one big too! I am not a licensed therapist or know it all, but I do know some things. So if I can answer a few questions for some people and make them have a better day then the hell with the other folks that don't like it. But thanks just the same!