Confidence! Here are some tips to give us that little confidence boost that we all sometimes need. I have found that there are a few combined tips that I suggest using. These are very easy and work in almost any social gathering. It will help to break the ice and it keeps conversation on an even playing field for both parties.
With no obvious common ground to fall back on, it can be tough to break the ice and keep conversation going with a complete stranger. But there are techniques that we can learn to help in such dilemmas.

HOW DO YOU DO IT?
Stage 1 F-O-R-E! There are four topics of conversation that everybody can relate to; Family, Occupation, Recreation and Education. The great thing about these topics is that they're pretty universal. Most people have had or have a family. The same goes for a job. Most people like doing things in their spare time - even if it's watching television. And of course, we all had to go to school at some point in our lives. So everyone we meet will be able talk about at least one of these subjects.

What is so useful about having these topics up your sleeve is that it actually allows you not to have to do too much. If you don't want to talk then you can sit back and listen to what's being said. On the other hand you may be interested in what the other person has to say and join in enthusiastically, the options are there.

OPEN-ENDED QUESTIONS
Stage 2 It's a common misconception that good conversationalists always have amazing stories to tell and a well of jokes to dip into. In fact, what most people want from conversation is dialogue and interaction, not just one-way traffic.

A good way of creating this flow of dialogue is by asking questions in a specific way. For example, questions like: "Do you live in London?" can be answered with a "Yes" or "No" reply - not very good for nurturing conversation. Whereas: "Where do you live?" has scope for a longer and hopefully more interesting reply. This is an open-ended question.

AS A GENERAL RULE:
· Questions starting with 'are' or 'do' are closed questions, generating yes or no answers.

· Questions starting with 'what', 'where', 'which', 'who' and 'when', are open questions, which need fuller answers.
Another rule of thumb is I have learned from experience that until you get to knoe someone, and then it is still a "touchy" area is: never talk to people about their religion, politics or their doctors. This can cause instant defensive barriers to be built and can and will make conversation unease for you and others.

If you're looking for something a little deeper and more involved then you could try out the probing questions. These start with words like 'how', 'why' and 'in what way'. But make sure you find the person interesting before you do this, as it might mean saying goodbye to an evening talking to others! Good luck.