Dear Jon,

About a month ago, me and my friends were at a bar where we met a guy named Tom. He was pretty cute and seemed nice enough, so we invited him to join us at an after-hours. At the party Tom and I fooled around in the bathroom. Ever since then, he calls my apartment all the time and follows me around when I go back to that club. I feel like I have my own personal stalker. Do I? What can I do?
Bart, Lakeview

Dear Bart,

Ah . the old curse of the crazy cute guy. Didn't mama tell you what you can pick up in the bathroom?

The term 'stalking' like many other legal words, is often misused in the popular media, thus leading to much misunderstanding as to its true meaning.

To rise to the level of stalking in Illinois, a person commits stalking when on at least 2 separate occasions he follows another person, or on at least 2 separate occasions places the person under surveillance.

But following the person home from the tubs or hiding in the bushes outside his window is not enough to constitute criminal stalking. The offender must also threaten the victim with harm of some kind. It is the act of following combined with a threat that makes it a stalking. Stalking carries a penalty of up to 1-3 years in prison.

And in the age of M4M4SEX.COM, every gay man should be aware that there is also a relatively new charge called 'cyberstalking'. A person commits cyberstalking when he on at least 2 separate occasions harasses another person through the use of electronic communication. Harassment is defined by the law as a course of conduct designed to alarm, torment or terrorize. But just being overzealous in search of a hookup on-line is not enough for stalking. Again, the harassment must be coupled with the transmition of a threat. Cyberstalking also carries a penalty of up to 1-3 years in prison.

So Bart, as you can see, your situation probably does not rise to level of criminal stalking in Illinois although Bart is certainly guilty of being a bad after-hours guest and I'm guessing, guilty of subjecting you to lousy sex.

Don't be afraid to call the police; they must learn to take our cases seriously. But in cases where the police aren't called and you feel you are being victimized, you can still file a report and take it the courthouse at Belmont and Western and speak to the Warrant Officer (his office is just inside the front doors). He will analyze your situation and determine if you have a case. You may also wish to consult an attorney for assistance in obtaining an Order of Protection.