Aries March 21-April, 19
Ouch! The bite of the onset of the cold weather just bit you in the ass. It's a good thing, because that's the only thing that will have to have anything to do with you're ass. It will pass, but watch out for teeth.

Taurus April 20 - May 21
You have enjoyed your bout with animal husbandry. However, it's becoming an obsession. I told you to keep away from gerbils.

Gemini May 21 - June 21
My dearest Gemini, your life can't always be in turmoil. Now is the time to confront your demons. And by the end of the month, if you leave your porch light on, you can give them all candy.

Cancer June 22 - July 22
We know it's in your nature to be a bit compulsive, but dressing as a French maid, ringing a stranger's doorbell and actually cleaning their house. That's just a smidge fucked up!

Leo July 23 - August 22
Now that you have learned the fine art of bobbing for apples, it's not as much fun as it was before. It's time to learn another game, perhaps "Pin-the-tail on the donkey?"

Virgo August 23 - September 22
Refreshed with the newfound vigor of a teenager, you try to capture your youth. Please do not just try to go out and just "capture" youth it is against the law in many states.

Libra September 23 - October 22
Facing each day is getting easier. That's probably because the days are getting shorter. Before winter sets in see if you can make some friends. It's not impossible, and having lube and a condom on hand helps.

Scorpio October 23 - November 21
Whew! It's time for a rest. The last couple of weeks have left you busier than you expected. Of course you should have expected to be busy; you were practically living at the baths.

Sagittarius November 22 - December 21
Your creative juices are flowing and you are hell bent to win every costume contest in the city. But darling, being judged as a mattress with a name will only make people talk about you.

Capricorn December 22 - January 19
You just can't wait for the "Halloween High Holy Days." Yes, you and 4000 other drag queens scrambling for tricks, who needs a holiday for that?

Aquarius January 20 - February 18
Oh what an original costume, let's see are you supposed to be a slut?

Pisces February 19 - March 20
As rent time approaches it may seem the only alternative is renting space in a pay toilet. It may not sound so glamorous, but it does have its perks. Think about it

Until next time, tricks are not just for kids! Ms. Mae