Low rise jeans, foie gras, Paris Hilton. Some fads should remain the domain of the too young, the unhealthy, and the stupid. The current trend toward gay couples with kids is another one I haven't bought into. I like my kids at arm's length. Or better, up on stage, parading around in rouge and lipstick, warbling power ballads, and earning a paycheck, just as poor little Jon Benet was supposed to do. That's why Annie is made for me. The new 30th anniversary touring production at the La Salle Theatre (the Shubert to you and me) comes with the requisite moppets doing their darndest to appear human, but, really, how natural is a nine year old going to be when she's throwing around depression era street slang in a story of everyone's favorite orphan (quick - name another)? Annie dreams of escape from her rotten orphanage, and eventually realizes that dream, only to mope about the fact that her parents are MIA and blah, blah, blah. The whole world's got problems, OK? Eventually, even the search for Mom and Dad is a success, under the tutelage of Daddy Warbucks. The program may list Big Daddy as John Shuck, better known to you and me, as Yo Yo, of the short lived "Holmes and YoYo". There, he was a robot who solved crimes on the short lived TV series, and here, he's a singing, dancing, millionaire, who can't quite figure out that what's missing in his life is a preternaturally cheerful homeless curly topped kid, and the love of his personal secretary. Sorry, it's a she. Well, Shuck is supposed to do that. On opening night, he was nowhere to be found, but understudy David Chernault did a fine job. As Grace, the secretary, Elizabeth Broadhurst is radiant in a Lauren Graham under a blond wig kind of way. And li'l Annie? Marissa O'Donnell beat out zillions of disappointed showbiz wannabes with the necessary mix of sassy and brassy, though her climactic afro headed transformation is still kinda creepy. Best of all is local gal made good, Alene Robertson's weary, on the edge of sanity Miss Hannigan, who smartly underplays her role. Ming Cho Lee's sets force perspective with cantered angles and strong lines, though a few too many backdrops bespeak an old fashioned touring show. Lyricist Martin Charnin picks up directorial duties, and moves things along at a brisk pace. Most important, Annie sings the old "Tonight Show" stalwart, "Tomorrow", touches the lives of all those she meets, outwits orphanage dictator Miss Hannigan, and pretty much solves the Great Depression, although she lets an onstage President Roosevelt take the reins of the Christmas sleigh. You just have to see that for yourself. You didn't know "Annie" is such a pointed social commentary, did you? Okay, it may not exactly be "Face the Nation", but if you've never seen "Annie", and avoid it the way some folks avoid Disneyworld, Branson, or marshmallow Fluff, now might be a good time to actually see what it is you hate so much. Chances are, you'll be surprised that it isn't quite the cheesy and saccharine concoction you expected to be shoved down your gullet. Oh, sure, there's more than a couple of tender moments or plaintive yearning, like the perfectly bittersweet "Maybe", but this show always earns its swells of emotion, even if it should learn about editing from the shorter, successful ABC TV movie from a couple seasons back. Certainly, if your only experience with "Annie" is John Huston's ill conceived movie version, then your aversion is justified, but trust me that this just isn't that bad. How's that for a recommendation? Let me add that this revival is more than just okay, with a large cast of talented singers and dancers, sticking pretty close to the original production (yes, I was there).