Aries March, 21-April, 19 You can push all you want, but you'll never get to the front of the line being an asshole! Be polite for a change and you'll get a lot further. Taurus April, 20 - May, 21 Join in the fun and be a team player. You have a history of not playing well with others and not staying on your mat during nap time. Gemini May, 21 - June, 21 Feeling a bit obsessing compulsive lately? Repeat after me 5 times "that's OK" and then check to make sure the oven is off 5 times. You won't be cured but you'll feel better. Cancer June, 22 - July, 22 There's no need to cry, we all get a little weepy now and then, the secret is to look for the silver lining. So put on a ball gown and lift it up over your head and let everyone see it! Leo July, 23 - August, 22 When will this grudge match end? You have been fighting with yourself long enough. Put away your verbal weapons and surrender. Life will be a lot more fun, trust me! Virgo August, 23 - September, 22 You are trying so hard to reap the benefits of the good life, don't be discouraged. Life is a bowl of cherries, just look out for the pricks! Libra September, 23 - October, 22 Those of you that have started a project, stick with it. Those of you thinking about starting a project, start it. Those of you that can't think, start thinking. Scorpio October, 23 - November, 21 Now that the summer is winding to a close, it is time for you to find a mate. This may be hard for you since you would rather kill them than live with them, but try it, it can be fun. Sagittarius November, 22 - December, 21 How much is enough? Are you counting by quantity or quality? What are you thinking? Are you trying to be a Aquarian? Why am I asking so many questions? Capricorn December, 22 - January, 19 If it looks like a duck and it quacks like a duck, it must be a duck. What this has to do with your horoscope I am not really sure, but think about it, you may have the answer. Aquarius January, 20 - February, 18 Looking at your future, you will still be a slut. Pisces February, 19 - March, 20 Contrary to popular belief, Pisceans are not stuffy and introverted, they are complex and wise, but so are owls. Get down off your perch and cruise the barnyard before snow falls. Until Next timemake someone laugh! Ms. Mae