"I saw him first!" I yelled over the crowd of casting agents, directors and admirers, all pawing for a piece of independent theater, A-list actor JOEY STEAKLEY. And yes, I did, in fact, see him first. I saw him as Extra No. 8 in the House Theater's "Rocketman." I saw him don his first wig as Hedwig, in Kitchen Dog's "Hedwig and the Angry Inch." I saw him in "Puntilla and His Man Matti" at Strawdog and I had a guest spot alongside him in his lead role of Carrie, in Hell and a Handbag's "Scarrie: The Musical." And there I was then, post Joey's opening night portrayal of Toto, in playwright PHIL KLAPPERICH's new pop culture camp, introspective and brilliant remake, "The Great and Terrible Wizard of OZ." Clearly, I had first doting dibs on Joey. However, the crowd surrounding him after curtain call didn't see it that way, and wouldn't break their tight circle long enough for me to squeeze my fat ass though. Catch Joey, and the House Theater ensemble, playing in their signature Wizard of OZ version at the Viaduct till November 5. www.thehousetheatre.com

"I saw him once!" I announced over a Caribou Coffee clutch of gay reporters during the NATIONAL LGBT JOURNALISTS CONFERANCE held here last month. For some reason, the other gay writers didn't take me too seriously. "What?" I accused, "Is it my pink chiffon tuxedo? Well, it is dress-up night, and not everyone has the hips for Brooks Brothers, ya know!"

The boys and I were discussing the effects of stigma and repression of young sexual minorities, and the possible role it may take in independent queer punk music, under a psychological subtext. So naturally, JINX TITANIC came up. JT and I first met at a concert back in February. Approaching him after his set, he threw a big hairy arm around my shoulder, leaned his sweaty torso onto mine, blew cigar smoke into my face and said, "I'm too drunk to talk to anyone, but you're really cute." and I pushed him off. "What!" he demanded, "You afraid of the big gay punk rocker?"

"No," I responded, "It's just that two drunks don't make a sober."

"Well, to heck with you then," he mumbled.

Then I paused, thought about it and smiled, "I like your style JT. Wanna be myspace pals?"

He took another long toke off his thick phallic cigar and said, "Okay." Check it out at www.myspace.com/Jason_Paul.

Then, "I saw him last," I said with a tear, to the Leigh Gallery attendants, in reference to MICHAEL BONFIGLIO's last Chicago exhibit. Yes, it's true. The Wild Dotter, known for his abstract dotted paintings and matching clothes, is no longer exclusively our own. He's moving, and taking his talents along with him, to the city that never sleeps. (Well, New Jersey actually, which most NJ residents consider close enough, while NYer's, much like yours truly, respond with "You got to be kidding, dude -- And the Statue of Liberty is ours, so step off!")

Bid adieu to our bud Bonfiglio during his closing reception and Bon Voyage party at The Leigh Gallery, 3306 N Halsted, Sunday, October 16 from 5-8pm.