Aries March, 21-April, 19
Tried and true and laboratory tested, you are on your way to the top. No, not to be a top, that would throw off the balance of the universe!

Taurus April, 20 - May, 21
You are going places now Taurus. Sure it doesn't seem like much now but every step you take you are one step closer. What this means, I have no idea.

Gemini May, 21 - June, 21
Feeling a bit forgetful lately? I think that this can be explained by alcohol consumption. I'm not saying that you drink, but lay off the sauce you old sot!

Cancer June, 22 - July, 22
New things fascinate you. Shiny things fascinate you. Men in Speedos fascinate you and me both. Now you need to start fascinating other people, give back what you get!

Leo July, 23 - August, 22
Quietly you lay, stalking your prey. That's illegal you know.

Virgo August, 23 - September, 22
You are anything but common, so why do you doubt yourself? Don't demand the spotlight; let the spotlight come to you.

Libra September, 23 - October, 22
You have been a comfort to your family recently and you shall be rewarded. Sure, it may be just a gold star next to your name but at least you were appreciated.

Scorpio October, 23 - November, 21
You dirty little piggy! Having more than our share of slap and tickle? Rumor has it, if you keep this behavior up you may turn into an Aquarius!

Sagittarius November, 22 - December, 21
It has been building up in you for a long time, you got to let it go! Get out there and get laid! I know it's a fight with those horny Sagittarius hookers, but you have charm!

Capricorn December, 22 - January, 19
Things aren't as unpleasant as they seem. We all have bad days and it could be worse, you could be Paula Sinclare! So count your blessings.

Aquarius January, 20 - February, 18
There is much controversy that people want to be like you. It's all a lie, sluts.

Pisces February, 19 - March, 20
Find your worst enemy and try to burry the hatchet. Not in their forehead, work out your differences, they soon may be your best friend.

Until Next timetwo things you can count on coming back to you, Karma and VD. Ms Mae