Aries March, 21-April, 19
Are your standards too high? It's just a phase, the next thing you know you'll be behind Jackhammer with a jar of Vaseline in one hand and a cocktail in the other.

Taurus April, 20 - May, 21
Walk with your shoulders back. Make that back straight, tighten up those ass cheeks! I don't know if this will get you laid, but it sure does a lot for me!

Gemini May, 21 - June, 21
Get back, get back, get back to where you want to belong, that's right Loretta! Go back and untap your past. Youth is wasted on the young!

Cancer June, 22 - July, 22
Nowhere in the world can anyone find the charms and genuine empathy that lurks in the heart of a Cancer. Get real, you just want to get laid and if they're good get their number.

Leo July, 23 - August, 22
Hot weather got you down in the mouth? Well just unhinge your jaw as you have been practicing and you will be making friends all over the place.

Virgo August, 23 - September, 22
As you tip-toe through the alleys, you march down the beach! It is all about getting laid! True, you may not do them all at the same time but quantity holds its place

Libra September, 23 - October, 22
Ok, it is time for you to refrain from the sun, you are starting to look like Beef Jerky! But you might just find a big ole bear with a bit of KFC perfume.

Scorpio October, 23 - November, 21
Something is s stirring in your world, I am not sure what it is and I am the horoscope lady! Just lay low until the next issue.

Sagittarius November, 22 - December, 21
Your exuberance is admirable and everybody likes you. Until you run out of money and party favors. Then look around, it's like the sidewalk sale at Manhole (RIP)

Capricorn December, 22 - January, 19
Your moons are colliding, look out! This can only mean one thing Capricorn; you can't squeeze into your swimsuit anymore.

Aquarius January, 20 - February, 18
You have stars in your eyes and your head in the clouds. Could it be love or just a hangover? You be the judge.

Pisces February, 19 - March, 20
Things are going well for you at this time, hold on to it while it lasts. Setbacks may stop the good times, if it does, go out and get drunk.

Until Next timeDo something nice for someone, it'll come back.
Ms Mae.