Aries March, 21-April, 19
It has been a tough couple of weeks. You're way too bitchy to let a little pitfall ruin your day. Jut cash in on some old favors. You have plenty of friends; you just have to remember you are human too.

Taurus April, 20 - May, 21
It is the rotation of the solstice and this puts the planets in a whirl. Hang on to your ruby slippers; you may end up in OZ. Be sure you take bug repellant and some bottled water for those bothersome witches.

Gemini May, 21 - June, 21
Duck, duck, duck, goose! That is your philosophy. You really need to get a grip Mary. Not everything needs to be passed through your ass. You only get one asshole in this life and you may need to marry it!

Cancer June, 22 - July, 22
Lately you have been unsettled. Not to worry, it is only a phase you are going through. I'm sure it has something to do with your horoscope but since I am full of shit, I really don't know. Keep your chin up.

Leo July, 23 - August, 22
Going in for the kill huh? You may want to wait to see what else comes across your path. The streets are ripe with potential new meat. Remember it is the hunt and the chase, not always the kill, so to speak.

Virgo August, 23 - September, 22
Feeling out of place? Well you no longer have to. It just so happens that Mercury is heading into retrograde and we all know what that means. That's right you will now be the center of attention.

Libra September, 23 - October, 22
You are no longer in your 4 F stage, find 'em, Feed 'em, Fuck 'em' & forget 'em. Through quantity you have found someone to settle down with for that long winters nap. You still have a few months for training.

Scorpio October, 23 - November, 21
You are back to your old tricks, which is more than I can say for Paula Sinclare. Unlike Paula, you have been on more laps than a napkin. Poor Paula has only been tossed to the side like a Scott towel.

Sagittarius November, 22 - December, 21
With the end of the summer drawing to a close, you are in too much of a rush to find that perfect someone to spend the winter with. Just give it some time. If you haven't found them by next month, buy a stun-gun.

Capricorn December, 22 - January, 19
You have been cursing the hot weather since the day it shot up over 68 degrees. Well, Cap, only a few more weeks before you are in your element and back to cruising the alleys without the stench of rotting garbage.

Aquarius January, 20 - February, 18
Ask not why you are a slut, just know that you are.

Pisces February, 19 - March, 20
There are many possibilities in your path all you have to do is open a door. But if you open the wrong one, Paula Sinclare might be standing on the other side. Then you must start over again and you may need glasses.

Until Next timeA smile is something to give to someone else for free. Ms Mae