Dear Jon:

Please help me! I must say that I am embarrassed to even write this; I don't know how I am going to be able to show up in court! Anywayhere it is

Two weeks ago, I was walking along the lakefront and feeling extremely horny. As I walked by the parking lot near Montrose Harbor, I noticed there seemed to be a lot of cruising going on. I have seen guys cruising near there before, so I didn't really didn't think it was such a big deal; the next thing I knew, I was trolling with the rest of them.

I climbed into some guy's SUV and immediately got 'down' to business. Not too much time later, I hear a loud knocking on the window and looked up to see a cop ordering me out of the car.

I was arrested for public indecency and taken to the station at Halsted and Addison. What can I do? I am mortified by all of this and certainly can't have anything like this on my record! Please help.

---anonymous for now

Dear Anonymous:

Well, luckily you didn't bite off more than you can chew. You will survive this. And much like your lake-side rendezvous this will be over before you know it.

First, because you were arrested at Montrose Harbor, your case will be heard in the courtroom at Belmont & Western where this type of charge is not uncommon. So there's no reason to be embarrassedeveryone who works there has heard your story a thousand times. Just make sure you show upwith an attorney, and you will be fine.

As you know, the Fourth Amendment protects us in our homes, and to a more limited extent, in our cars, from government intrusion. Your problem here is that because the SUV belonged to someone else, the courts will say that you can only assert your own constitutional rights and not those of another. So to the extent that this cop may or may not have conducted an illegal search of the car, is a question to be raised by your 'friend.'

But where I do see an issue, lies in whether you were in a public place. Public indecency requires that sexual penetration or sexual conduct or a lewd exposure of the body be done in a public place.

The courts have defined a public place as one in which there is a "high probability that the conduct would be viewed by other members of the public." Because SUVs and very often trucks are so high off the ground, one might argue that there is a reduced probability that your conduct would be viewed by others. And unless your new friend was extremely 'gifted,' my guess is that you were bent down and out of view.

So you see, your situation is probably not as bad as you think. No one is going to laugh or point at you in court (well, depending on what you wear, but that's another topic). And as long as you don't have priors, you will in all likelihood walk out without a record. Best of luck

---Jon

If you have a question for Jon, please call his office at 773-875-4646 or write to him at JonFErik@aol.com

***This column is not legal advice or a legal opinion. It merely for the entertainment of its readers***