Dear Daisy,
Why am I so gay?
Signed Mikey

Dear Mikey,
When confronted with questions such as this, I've found myself wondering: How gay is "so gay"? That is to say, how much gayer than "gay" must a thing be to earn that two-letter modifier? Fortunately, I think I've unraveled the answer to this riddle. Observe:

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Dear Daisy,
Will I ever recover from these hangovers?
Well Hung Over

Dear Well,
Recover? Yes. Learn from? No.

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Dear Daisy.. I have a problem. I smell really bad. Because of that, I have no friends, on the weekends, I talk to myself and stare at my reflection in the T.V. What should I do? Will you be my friend?
-Friendless

Dear Friendless,
You should come to my family's Labor Day picnic this year. Every year, we all head out to Prospect Park, and spend the day having a serious summer party. But a Northern Pike indulging in four hours of eating potato salad and sitting in the sun does no one's olafactory system, no matter how bad, anything good.

As to the other thing - yeah, that's a problem, huh? Have you done a self-analysis? What part of you smells so bad? Could be an STD of some kind? If that's the case, take heart! None of the really bad ones (HIV, syphilis) have foul-smells as first stage symptoms, so it's probably something nasty, but curable (gonorrhea, for instance). Or it could be an unfortunate effect of your social situation: When you are watching tv, are you wallowing in your own filth, as well as self-pity? Or perhaps you are a ferret - cute though they are, they smell like poop.