Gay Pride: A time to unite with your fellow brethren and celebrate our diversity through self expressionyeah whatevs. Let's be honest it's the one/one of the times of the year we get as drunk as we want off light beer, manhandle folks on the street, and hook up with hot out of towners. Sounds simple enough but one must be prepared. Review MY tips below for a fun, man-packed, liquor soaked pride weekend!

*Leave "the boyfriend" at home if you have one. "The boyfriend" includes hagsditch em', bring your best guy pals.

*Con your buds into don matching outfits, it'll help you stand out from the crowd. FYI, the slutty athlete get-up is a proven hit.

*Bring a small dog or puppy. If you don't have one borrow one, the mens' love them.

*Know where there's lube nearby, maybe you're trick will love that you're knowledgeable, maybe he'll think you're a whore but spitting on the hand only works in Brokeback Mountain.

*Bring your digital camera, whether it is to forever remember these dear times with your man pals or to blackmail one of them the next day.

*Condoms, Purell, and handy wipes are super important. With the festivities attracting over 400,000 people a chunk of them are bound to be bringing in scads of itchy STD's and flesh eating viruses.

*When performing illegal acts in the 'hood, make sure you're able to decipher the real cops from the slutty gay men dressed as cops.

*Plan everything out before you get drunk, where your ID and money will be, where the public bathrooms/alleys are to pee, where to eat in the event you leave the bar alone, and where to land and pass out within a 6 block radius of wherever you are.

*Have an in neighborhood stop off point in Boystown, like a friend's house for hydration, costume change, reapplying, and pre-drinking purposes.

*Watch the parade on Broadway. It's less congested and you'll run into less people you wished you hadn't run into, besides the crowds more entertaining than the floats anyway.

*Stretch.