Pride is more than a word that implies, "I have a right as a gay person to do what I want" or as Webster's New World College Dictionary puts it; exaggerated self-esteem. Its meaning denotes something much greater, more powerful! For me, it means that no law can define who I am, or what I choose to be. As a child growing up in Detroit, I didn't know the meaning of the word, Pride, or freedom. But I knew people were dying just to be free, with no thought of pride.

I was taught by my lesbian mother that being gay anywhere in the 70's was hard as hell, still I had no idea of what Pride or Freedom was. It wasn't until I became a young gay man with the same struggles as the ones before me, that I began to understand. While growing up in the ghettos of Detroit there was still gay bashing going on, I used to get a black eye and bloody nose so much that even the bullies started feeling sorry for me. But it was when my mom said, "Robby, the only person you're ever gonna have is you! Just you! So fight, show them in your way, don't run, be yourself no matter what! Now go on and wash your face and stop cryin." These words became pride for me. Everyday of being 14yrs old was all about pushing the envelope. I stopped running, I grew my hair, died it with red Kool Aid, had a Geri curl and practiced runway style up and down the street till my feet got too big for my moms shoes. It seemed that every step I took in those shoes, lead me to the precious few that were being looked down upon because of the way they live their Pride.

As I walked, I found that Pride still means many different things that Webster's Dictionary didn't mention. For example, the way we as gay men and women treat each other, we all are so separated we treat each other the way most of the world treats us.

We can't even stand to be in the same club, restaurant,or volunteer group. You name it, if it involves a mix of gender it can be a problem.

Even when we celebrate our coming out day; that blessed moment in June of 1969,
our Pride still has us struggling among ourselves. We struggle to find love, support,
and acceptance among us. Yet, somehow in me, that pride, those words from mama, never let me down. I believe as a result of her words, Cyon Flare was able to be born, I gave life and meaning to my name; it's energy, it's who I am and what I feel. That energy can not be limited to one word, or many words. Pride is energy, shared with young and old, bringing together all genders, for the sake of Love and acceptance. Truly the most difficult for me was learning to love myself,

We all want to be proud, but have to find it for ourselves, give it our own meaning and with hope in a shared vision, we can all truly understand the meaning of, "I got my pride, no one's gonna take it away." Loving myself is how I aquired the strength to be happy with all that I am and hopefully others can say, "I can do that! I can be that, I am that!" Everyone doesn't need makeup, high heels, or feathers to express who he or she is. One only needs Love, self love, which is another example of Pride.

So here I am, one example of what pride is. Living my life everyday, as if I have the right to be here. Finally, Chicago has given me a new stage to live my life on. I am working on using my voice instead of some one else's. I'm reaching into my heart, to reach into yours. Always remember, Pride is more than a word,
it's a lifestyle. Don't be afraid to Live it!