"Strict dress code for admission Admission can be refused!" That is the sign (in two languages) that I read on the door as I entered a club in Germany. Inside I found men in leather, men in rubber, and gay skins in full gear. The intense testosterone charged atmosphere of that bar had my dick hard and my clean ass twitching before I made it across the room. Fifteen minutes later, I was trying to decipher the instructions from the German speaking soldier behind me. Facing the wall, hands above my head where they had been placed, he whispered in my ear as my leather pants came down. My ass was lubed up and he slipped a condom on his fat German cock. We thrusted to the sounds of other men thrusting in our exclusive pack. The focused energy of the moment was mind-blowing. I was with my pack and we were doing what comes naturally to us. I rediscovered the power of celebrated exclusivity. This got me struggling with the conflict of wanting very exclusive people, places, things and values in my life, but also wanting the security that an inclusive larger group affords me. I started wondering, should I be more INclusive or more EXclusive? Should I have limits and criteria that disqualify people from being part of my inner circle or should I be totally inclusive and open my arms to everyone? Should WE, as a people, be more INclusive or more EXclusive? Finally the answer came. And the answer was YES! We most definitely should be more INclusive AND we most definitely should be more EXclusive. It's not something new we need to start doing. We have been doing it, we are doing it and we will most likely keep doing it for a very long time. Let's recognize the subtlety and force of how we are living and stop feeling guilty about it. Let's accept it, foster it, and celebrate it. It is actually working pretty damn well. I've wrapped up my thoughts in an easy acronym. It's called the "PETS Principal". Packs By nature, Packs are EXclusive. For example, as a titleholder I am one of only five Mr. Oil Can Harry's, one of only ten Mr. Los Angeles Leathers borne out of the LALC and one of only 29 IMLs. The LA Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence, BLUF, most motorcycle clubs, invite only play spaces, Men of Discipline, Chicago Hell Fire, Water Boys are all exclusive. Most are vibrant, productive packs that keep the "diverse" in diversity. They filter out those who do not hold their values and all are exclusive. Enclaves Enclaves are EXclusive as well. They are just collections of like minded Packs. As a title holder I belong to a world wide enclave of title holders. I only know a handful of them but we share a common experience. Leather, Rubber, Skins, Pups, Bootblacks and the Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence are all examples of self selecting, exclusive enclaves. Tribes Tribes are INclusive collections or Enclaves. The Leather/Kinky/Fetish tribe of Los Angeles includes pretty much anything you can think of and their inclusiveness strengthens the tribe as a whole. Globally, we gather as a great tribe at Folsom SF, Folsom East, and FOLSOM Europe, at CLAW, at MAL, at LAL, at IMsL, at IML, and countless other "L's" through out the year. This is a time to celebrate our true diversity and revel in the strength a collective tribe generates. Society Society is that great mass of humanity I refer to as the "Muggles" (thank you Ms. Rowling). Society is both with us and against us. It is the greater gay and straight communities that do not look like us, they do not play like us and they generally don't understand us. They include local and federal governments, gay prides and organizations like the NGLTF. It is just as important to recognize those in Society that are with us, like the NGLTF as it is to recognize those that are against us, like the religious right. So that's it, the "PETS Principle". Use it to celebrate the unique nature of your pack. Defend your enclave and encourage other enclaves to do the same. Feed the Tribe with your unique viewpoint and embrace others who are different. Educate Society and build bridges with those who are our allies. Enjoy the values and traditions of your Pack and vigilantly protect them, but do not force those values and traditions on the Tribe. Open your arms to our rich diversity at the Tribe level, but don't expect to be welcomed into every Pack's circle. Yes it's complicated. Well, we are complicated people. We can play together and fight together as a family without sacrificing that indefinable something that brings us together in the first place. If we live with Trust, Honor and Respect it will all work itself out. By actually living the leather man's creed our INclusive and EXclusive nature will profoundly strengthen our community.