Aries March, 21-April, 19
There is nothing holding you back now, Aries. Let it all hang out, just be cautious what and where you let things hang, you may be writing to Ask Jon if you're not careful!

Taurus April, 20 - May, 21
Now that you have started the spring mating ritual there is nothing to stop you! You are like a moose growing its antlers, a love bird cooing, a peacock cocking.

Gemini May, 21 - June, 21
Trying to decide what to do with the old summer wardrobe, should you burn them or give them to the poor? It's so disturbing to see the homeless walking around in last years Channel.

Cancer June, 22 - July, 22
Give yourself a break and start dating again. Sure it may not have gone the way you have wanted it to in the past, bit pull yourself up by your pump straps and try it again.

Leo July, 23 - August, 22
Save your change, for it is time for you to take a trip. You don't know it yet, but just keep saving your pocket change and when the time is right you will be prepared.

Virgo August, 23 - September, 22
Keeping with tradition sucks, so you will be the one to change it. Bear in mind that your actions today will reflect everything you do the rest of your pitiful life.

Libra September, 23 - October, 22
Isn't it about time you start looking for a real job? Living off your friends has become tiresome and limiting. Even stuffing tacos at Taco Bell gives you booze money!

Scorpio October, 23 - November, 21
Its time to start taking off those unwanted winter pounds, you don't want to look like Paula Sincalre, stuffed into a sausage casing with a chewed off wig, or do you?

Sagittarius November, 22 - December, 21
You have been looking for the truth for so long and the whole time it has been right under your nose. Keeping your nose free of debris and powders helps to see the truth!

Capricorn December, 22 - January, 19
To give you an accurate horoscope you must understand that the moon is in a harried stage which puts your house out of alignment and in turn has your head up Uranus.

Aquarius January, 20 - February, 18
Always consistent, Always a slut.

Pisces February, 19 - March, 20
Never knowing is almost as difficult as knowing. Just kick back and don't always wonder why? Sometimes it is better to be blissfully ignorant.

Until Next timecolor in the lines, but read between them. Ms Mae