Aries March 21-April 19 Spring is finally here and this is your big excuse to throw a party. Pay close attention to the guest list. It is better to give rather than receive but you like it both ways.

Taurus April 20 - May 21 Happy Birthday Taurus! Now that you have the energy of your birth phase try using your evil for good. You will reap many benefits and perhaps get lucky along the way.

Gemini May 21 - June 21 n matters of the heart, your life seems drab. Fear not mighty Gemini for all you have to do is lay claim to what is yours. That doesn't mean pissing all over the place to mark your territory, figure it out.

Cancer June 22 - July 22 Now that you are getting ready for spring, keep in mind upcoming events. You don't want to spend all your energy at once. Follow the Bee and gather as much pollen as you can. You know what I mean.

Leo July 23 - August 22 So travel may not have worked out the way you had it planned. I'm not a fucking psychic.

Virgo August 23 - September 22 There is a Spring Sale at Neiman-Marcus, but all you can afford is Marshall's. Remember, some of the city's most famous queens never pay full price.

Libra September 23 - October 22 If you are still feeling sorry for yourself get the fuck over it! There are far better things to get your panties in a twist over. I'm sure you'll think of at least one.

Scorpio October 23 - November 21 The entire world's a stage and you are the diva. So quit acting like a bitch and start shaking babies and kissing hands like a real politician. Trust is something that is earned, not the name of an adult diaper.

Sagittarius November 22 - December 21 Oops! Did we put on a few pounds over the winter? Never fear the Steamworks is here! Yes, I bet nobody knew that they had a gym. Well the equipment is hard to see in the dark.

Capricorn December 22 - January 19 OK I admit even a breath mint doesn't work for Paula Sinclare, but I was trying to make a point. I just can't remember what it was. Maybe after a few cocktails it will come back to me.

Aquarius January 20 - February 18 Yes, Aquarians, I know I've been a smidge harsh, what, with all the Slut innuendos. How was I to know you did your own publicity? You sluts, Go figure.

Pisces February 19 - March 20 Be thankful for what you have. I hated my shoes and then I met a queen who had no feet. So buy those knock off Prada Shoes and wear them proud!

Until next time,
Slinky is just another name for spring... Ms. Mae