Aries March, 21-April, 19
After basking in the afterglow of your birth phase it is time to clean up your mess. It's no wonder you are carrying your butt around in a bucket.

Taurus April, 20 - May, 21
Happy Birthday Taurus! Its official the thaw is over and you are in full swing. Swinging from trick to trick, that is. Slow down, it's about quality not quantity.

Gemini May, 21 - June, 21
Mercury is in retrograde and your panties are in a bunch. Take them off and untwist them. It is getting warmer so wash them out and hang 'em out to dry.

Cancer June, 22 - July, 22
You have been cooped up for too long. Your snatch is a good place for a stick up! No, not a stick up your snatch, but that wouldn't hurt either, one of those smell good things.

Leo July, 23 - August, 22
If beauty is in the eye of the beholder you need glasses. Of course, mercy fucks are a good thing. Keep up the good work Leo!

Virgo August, 23 - September, 22
Take some time for yourself and let someone pamper you. You'll see it can be fun to wear adult diapers. Some say it is fun, I say it depends.

Libra September, 23 - October, 22
What is up with you lately? You have been as cranky as a sissy at a truck pull. Cheer up, remember that there are always public restrooms!

Scorpio October, 23 - November, 21
You crave the outdoors and the warmer it gets the wilder you become. Let loose and start carousing. Keep in mind that it is still wrong to get dates with a stun gun.

Sagittarius November, 22 - December, 21
It has been a long time since you have known love. That is not to be confused with lust. If that were the case, you've seen more laps than a napkin.

Capricorn December, 22 - January, 19
Quit wallowing in self pity! Let someone else do it for you. Send out invitations, get some hooch, some torch songs and hide the knives. Oh, and cheer up!

Aquarius January, 20 - February, 18
Summer, winter, spring or fall, any season you're a slut on call! Isn't that clever?

Pisces February, 19 - March, 20
When eating from the tree of knowledge, don't make the same mistake as others have before you. This time make applesauce.

Until Next timeSay hello to a stranger, you may make a friend! Ms Mae