Aries March, 21-April, 19
Be sure to get plenty of rest and eat healthy foods. It'so embarrassing when you crap in your pants.

Taurus April, 20 - May, 21
As the moon moves through Libra, duty calls. Let the other members of the team decide whether to fuck or fight.

Gemini May, 21 - June, 21
Instead of worrying about what needs to be done, do it! You will have plenty of time to finish knitting that sweater made entirely out of pubic hair.

Cancer June, 22 - July, 22
You're in charge of the store. Just charge them for an extra can of "Whoop-Ass", open it and get over it.

Leo July, 23 - August, 22
Wash your toys after each use; they're dishwasher safe if you put them in the top rack.

Virgo August, 23 - September, 22
The moon, shows you the shape of things to come. You are hoping it will be long and thick. It has to be to pass through your moon.

Libra September, 23 - October, 22
Libra, your bright plumage attracts likely mates like a cheap whore attracts flies.

Scorpio October, 23 - November, 21
Take advantage of this opportunity to brush up on personal hygiene. You may find that people will find time for you again.

Sagittarius November, 22 - December, 21
No one can figure you out. That's funny because you spend so much time at the bookstore. Maybe you're a librarian.

Capricorn December, 22 - January, 19
You can piss on the strip until the cows come home, but EPT doesn't work on boys.

Aquarius January, 20 - February, 18
If you didn't spend so much time on your back with your legs in the air, the scenery would change.

Pisces February, 19 - March, 20
If you can find it, buy second hand porn, it's cheaper.

Until next time.Eat, Drink and be Mary! Ms Mae