As you may recall from earlier issues of BOI this year (#01.09 and #02.09 to be exact), in November I began a desperate attempt to prepare for a 7-day gay Caribbean cruise that sailed several weeks ago. Here's the next installment of my Diary.

Cruise Day 1 - I arrived in South Florida yesterday and made my way to the Port of Miami with Jim, my hottie best friend and cruise cabin mate, earlier this afternoon. After an easy registration process and airport-style security check, just before we boarded the boat there was a security dog sniffing carry-on luggage. Lots of flop-sweating boys in line, several of whom did not pass the smell test. Oops! I, on the other hand, felt a stirring in my groin given my recently discovered canine fetish.

Day 2 - OMG! There are 3,600 gay men on board and the overall gorgeousness factor is phenomenal. Plus, everyone has 6-pack abs; very little carb consumption amongst this group in the past few weeks. I'm at my goal weight of 175 pounds and while I don't possess the tightest midsection around, I do look pretty good. : ) ... Jim has already tricked 3 times and we haven't even been at sea 24 hours yet.

Day 3 - Yeah! I finally got laid last night. A graphic designer from Boston. He was just this side of "do-able" (actually not many "not do-ables" on the boat), but at least I'm on the scoreboard. Now I can go after quality and there were actually some Grade As eyeing me, especially this blond from Moscow whom I met on the snorkeling excursion today (we were in Labadee, Haiti).

Day 4 - Despite the healthy looking bodies on board, this ship is far from a paragon of healthy behaviors. Far be it from me to judge ­ something about this glass house I live in ­ but conspicuous consumption is not limited to Gucci flip-flops and Prada bathing suits. The parties each night are an interesting mix of some folks drinking beers, vodka tonics, and shots of tequila and other guys who first slam down cups of Coca-Cola with no ice and then nurse bottles of water. ... I twice walked in on Jim today having sex. He's up to double figures in men already. I'm at three, with steady improvement in quality: a quick afternoon delight with a UPS pilot from Louisville and then a super hot late night session with that cutie from Moscow (his name is Vladimir) who taught me to say "give it to me harder" in Russian.

Day 5 - After a quick trip off the boat into San Juan earlier today, Jim and I climbed the Rock Wall they have on the ship. It was quite fun and afterwards we treated ourselves to waffle cones at the Ben & Jerry's Ice Cream shop that's on-board. I LOVE THIS SHIP! ... All the Europeans on board ­ and it's about 1,000 of them ­ are impressed that I am from the same city as the new President. As a result, Barack Obama has been the best wing man EVER, and in absentia he helped me snag a tasty Dutch treat from Amsterdam. All I'll say is "foreskin" and "Gouda."

Day 6 - Last night Jim and I met up with some new friends we've made ­ from NYC; Kentucky; Sydney, Australia; and Austin, TX ­ and we ate a delicious dinner at the steakhouse restaurant onboard. The prime ribeye steak was one of the best I've ever had (hometown Allen Brothers maybe?) and we went through about 4 bottles of wine. Afterwards we saw a show by the cruise's special guest, Patti LuPone. She was fantastic! Following that I then spent a couple of hours in the casino playing black jack. I lost $50 but all in all this entire night was one of the most fun times I've had all week. And just think: no sex involved.

Day 7 - The final party of the cruise, the White Party, was last night outside on the top deck and it was absolutely magical with perfect weather and twinkling stars in the cloudless sky. The various themed outfits guys wore were really cool; the music, lasers, and lights were as good as any party I've been to; and then as the sun rose we all just smiled and danced arm-in-arm as the DJ played a dance mix of "Here Comes The Sun." Wow! On the way back to the cabin Jim made a detour in search of #20 (Slut!), while me and my 4-notched cruise belt went off with Vladimir to learn more Russian. "Diary of Desperation"? I'm not feeling so desperate now.