Well kittens where does the time go? I am so happy to sit here and answer questions and help the confused and not so sure. If you have a question or need some advice, drop me a line. You may e-mail me at Dear.Daisy@sbcglobal.net or put a letter in the mail to BOI Magazine c/o Dear Daisy 3708 N. Halsted Chicago, IL 60613. Remember there "Ain't No Problem Big Enough" get it? Dianna Ross? Well, on with the questions.

Dear Daisy,
What is the longest word in the world?
Signed
Funk N. Wagnall

Dear Funk,
I have many talents and my staff here, at Daisy Mae Laboratories, are all cunning linguists. This is what we have found: The official longest word is pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis. (45 letters) It's a lung disease caused by breathing in certain particles and is the longest word in any English-language dictionary. (It is also spelled -koniosis.)

The longest word in Shakespeare: "honorificabilitudinitatibus" from Love's Labour's Lost

The longest useful word is floccinaucinihilipilification (29 letters) It's the longest word in the first edition of the Oxford English Dictionary and is an estimation of something as worthless. The letter "i" occurs nine times in this word but "e", the most commonly used letter in English, does not appear at all. It dates back to 1741 and has been used by Sir Walter Scott and Senators Robert Byrd and Daniel Patrick Moynihan. Senator Jesse Helms used it in 1999 during the debate on the Comprehensive Test Ban Treaty [Randolph V. Cinco].

Floccinaucinihilipilification was also used by Press Secretary Mike McCurry in his December 6, 1995, White House Press Briefing in discussing Congressional Budget Office estimates and assumptions: "But if you-- as a practical matter of estimating the economy, the difference is not great. There's a little bit of floccinaucinihilipilification going on here."

The longest geographical name is of a Maori hill in New Zealand: Taumatawhakatangihangakoauautamateaturipukakapikimaung- ahoronukupokaiwhenuakitinatahu (84 letters) they call it "Taumata." Now put that in your Tupperware (10 letters) and burp it!

Dear Daisy,
I am putting together a health fair on condom usage for students. The "Condom Olympics" will be held in a dorm. I was wondering if you had any suggestions for information my group could use or any suggestions on games that we could play to teach people how to use condoms correctly.
Signed,
Condom Coach

Dear Coach,
Bravo to you for your initiative and creativity. Give each of the attendees their own condom still in the wrapper, carefully open them together (with fingers, not with teeth or long fingernails that can weaken and puncture even the toughest rubber), and let the games begin. Please vividly instruct present and future condom wearers of the world - and those who love them - how to put 'em on, and keep 'em on:

· over a fist and down an arm
· down two, three, or four middle fingers
· on a firm banana, or cucumber
· down an upside down baseball bat
· onto an obviously phallic shampoo container
· with your mouth - again, watch those teeth and braces (using the fruit or veggie here would be best)
· break out a reasonably-sized dildo for a more realistic lesson (remember who your audience is!)
Include these helpful pointers along the way:
· Put a little lube inside the condom for a smoother glide down the penis.
· Try to put condoms on erect, or somewhat erect, penises.
· Smooth out any penis hair that could get yanked when the condom's going on and off.
· Use condoms on sex toys to reduce transmission of dirt or microorganisms.
· Keep condoms in places that are room temperature, as opposed to warmer climates, such as on a windowsill or on top of a radiator.
· Check expiration dates on condom wrappers - especially the ones that have been living in sock drawers, night tables, and medicine cabinet