Aries March 21-April, 19
Still basking in the power of your birth phase, your planets are making a direct line to your happy spot. You are gushing with happiness and your underwear is constantly sticking to you.

Taurus April 20 ­ May 21
As Mars moves into retrograde, this allows you to reflect on your bad behavior. That isn't necessarily a bad thing, but then again playing with your self in public can be frowned on.

Gemini May 21 - June 21
You are on the verge of a breakthrough. You don't know exactly what you are breaking through or where you heading, but neither do I. What do you think I am a fucking Psychic?

Cancer June 22 - July 22
Open your senses. See, smell, hear, taste and touch, but be careful who you test your senses on; this state has laws on consensual touching and tasting. Especially if you get caught

Leo July 23 - August 22
Life is a banquet; if we feed each other we make a friend and get full at the same time. Remember that you selfish controlling bitch. You can make new friends it is possible.

Virgo August 23 - September 22
Oh quiet virginoh who am I kidding. But I guess there are different meanings to every word. But, that is like tipping a stripper with fake boobs with Monopoly money, I just doesn't work.

Libra September 23 - October 22
In your search for balance you are weighing a bit on the heavy side. With spring just around the corner, you need to prepare for a sizzling summer of fun and fast action. Tan fat is pretty fat.

Scorpio October 23 - November 21
The tea leaves say "deception will seek you out." But it doesn't have to. I see trouble in your future but for $75.00 I can help you to avoid it. Send a self addressed stamped envelope and the cash. Quick!

Sagittarius November 22 - December 21
The trees are budding and that makes you inspired. As a matter of fact, spring has the same effect on you as it does the animals in the wild. Unfortunately, you also piss your scent too.

Capricorn December 22 - January 19
The days are getting longer and you are pissed off. Just because the nights are getting shorter doesn't mean you are loosing out on trick time, slow down, you might be compared to a Aquarian.

Aquarius January 20 - February 18
Please keep a lower profile; the other signs of the zodiac are starting to be sluts too. Thanks

Pisces February 19 - March 20
Get some fresh air and stop to smell the flowers. It can be a very healing process. Be very careful, there are a lot of people that don't clean up after their dogs!

Until Next timeDo something nice, and pass it along. Ms. Mae