Dear Daisy,
I am a real girl that reads your column and I ordered some 'tit tape' from Trendco for the backless and practically frontless Versace-style outfits I have - I want to look like J-lo rather than droopy! How the hell do I put it on? I'm confused as to whether it goes lengthways, width-ways or some other way!
Signed,
Sticky in SouthportDear Sticky,
If there are no instructions I think common sense is all that's required. Simply cut pieces as necessary (a couple of inches long) and stick close to the edge of the bust-line of the inside of the dress. Then press the dress to your skin and add pressure for a few seconds to give the tape time to adhere. If the tape has a backing, remove this first. It's better to use lots of smaller pieces rather than one long piece. This way if a piece becomes un-stuck, the whole lot won't start unpeeling. Check yourself in the mirror in different positions, especially bending and leaning forward, to make sure you are not revealing too much. I really can't tell you much more than that since I don't have tits of my own and besides, every one I know has fake ones.
Dear Daisy
I'm curious what the etiquette is for the whole "spit or swallow" debate. How much fluid is to be expected from ejaculation exactly? And whatever is to be done with it if one decides not to swallow? Are we talking tissues by the bedside? What? Any advice would be greatly appreciated.
Signed,
Clueless in Cum Etiquette
Dear Clueless
You're not so clueless; tissues or a towel by the bed into which you can quietly deposit the one tablespoon (15 ml) or so of your partner's nut is the quick and easy exit strategy, although the taste of semen will remain for a time. A quick trip to the bathroom for a spit and rinse with water or mouthwash will take care of the aftertaste. Bringing your ejaculator with you can help to keep the post-climax togetherness going. Returning the semen to its rightful owner is another option; this is called "Snowballing" you may want to talk this one over with your partner before your mouth is full. Lobbing his gob across the room with desperate spitting and hacking sounds is most certainly a no-no in any manners manual.
Dear Daisy,
I'm a homo that is sexually attracted to much older men. My problem is that it's hard to relate to the older guys I date and I'm not physically attracted at all to the guys closer to my age that I've tried to date. My friends have called it a fetish, which I disagree with, but either way I can steer away from it about as much as I can from being gay. Looking at it realistically, there isn't much future in a relationship with someone 20 years my senior....and there isn't much appeal to someone my age no matter how interesting they are. Catch 22. Daisy, can you offer some insight?
Signed, Young and Restless
Dear Young
I say fuck the old dudes. If that is what blows your skirt up, then go for it. Start taking up some old-dude type hobbies, and do old dude stuff. Go bowling or to Sears or go hunting or something. I dunno. What do old gay dudes do? If you're happy, piss on the rest of the world. Go to Manhandler.
Dear Daisy
Why does the sweat from in-between my legs smell so bad?Dear Reader,
You have poor personal hygiene.
