Since the Dawn of time, men have had trouble figuring out what to wear. It began, well; it began in the very beginning.
EVE: Adam, you're wearing that fig leaf .again?
Are you kidding me? That is so tired!
And here we are. All these years later, and straight men still have no idea what to wear. Well it wasn't always like this. Not that long ago the world was a much simpler place because fashion was very regimented. There was specific clothing for certain things. Most men had uniforms for work, whether it was an actual uniform or a suit and tie, and sportswear for things like hunting and skiing. It was a rite of passage for a father to take their sons to Brooks Brothers to buy their first blue blazer. Fathers taught sons how to tie ties and pick suits and shoes. We became a very mobile society and all those conformities fell to the wayside. Suddenly you could work from home in your pajamas and fuzzy slippers and nobody knew. You could get on a plane in a tank top, ripped up shorts and flip-flops and nobody would look twice at you. That is why I am here.
I was going to rescue abused teacup Yorkies, but then I realized there weren't any, so straight men it is! I think they're cute and adorable and loveable, like abandoned puppies at an animal shelter.
After graduating from Gettysburg College in 1991, I took a job with the Equestrian Federation of the United States so I could move to New York. I was working out in a gym in some super preppy outfit and I was approached by a headhunter who told me I was "so Ralph Lauren".
Two days later I had an interview, and in a few weeks I was a gofer for the top executives at Ralph Lauren. For the next seven years I worked for Ralph Lauren and got to see every side of the company, from design and manufacturing to merchandising and advertising.
I still don't claim to be the world's foremost expert on fashion shocking I know. But ii have had a unique opportunity to get a real education in clothes. I know all the tricks of the fashion trade. That's my job. With this said it is time that I give to you "The Ten Commandments of Fashion" according to Me, Carson Kressley.
As we proceed on our magical journey to fabulousness, there are a few rules for you to follow. Keep your hands inside the tram car at all times and don't feed the models.
1.Disregard trends. You shouldn't wear something just because it's of the fashion moment. You have to be yourself, find what looks good on you, and embrace it, even if it's not "in." Be one with the penny loafer. The biggest faux pas is trying to look like somebody else.
2.Never underestimate the power of details. The last thing on is the first thing noticed. Food stains don't count.
3.Keep it simple, Sassy! For the average guy, it's about building a personal wardrobe that looks great on you. Don't make it complicated. When you have a choice between two items, choose the simpler one.
4.A garment should never be made of more than 25% of an unnatural fiber. A little bit of polyester isn't going to kill you. A lot of polyester? That's a different story.
5.Experiment with style. If you make mistakes, life goes on.
6.Never go shopping alone. You've got the store trying to sell you items and you're not sure you look right. But if you have a friend along, you can always get an objective opinion from someone who knows you.
7.Don't overdo it. You want to be noticed for a look that's yours, and not because you look clownish and inspire the Barnum and Bailey theme song. Overdoing it is like crying, "Oh, look at me!!" I bet you never thought you'd hear me of all people saying that. ("Hi, kettle? It's the pot calling") I think it's far better to be noticed for subtlety than for garishness.
8.Never wear anything shear. Let's leave the exposed nipples to Janet Jackson, shall we? Thanks for the mammaries, Janet.
9.Spend within reason. I encourage many trips to the mall or your favorite fashion retailer. However, when shopping becomes an addiction, and you have to move every two weeks to flee creditors, you officially have a problem. There are two important things to hold on to in this world: your dignity and your personal credit rating. You don't want to become American Express's bee-atch.
10.Cashmere is seasonless.
Wear it in winter. Wear it in summer. Wear it to bed and to
garden in for all I care, but cashmere is never, ever the wrong
answer.
