Shiver me timbers! I thought by now the weather would be a bit more spring-like, however, I guess I am not a psychic, just an advice columnist. So, if you need advice or just have a question, by all means drop me an e-mail to Dear.daisy@sbcglobal.net or send it through our trusty postal service at Dear Daisy c/o Boi Magazine 3708 N. Halsted Chicago, IL 60613. Now let's see what is on the minds of the masses!!!!

Dear Daisy,
Do you know anything about an orthocenter? I'm a geometry student and this would be some helpful extra credit for me!!

Dear Extra Credit,
Extra credit?!? I suppose you're also one of those kids who were the first to raise their hand when the teacher asks a question, too. Nobody likes a teacher's pet. Wait. That was me. Forget it. No, really. Forget it. It doesn't matter. While I'll argue to the death that most stuff you learn in school is really needed in real life, this is one thing which isn't, which is probably why it's extra credit.

And I'll give you a study tip I learned in college. Always write down what the teacher writes on the chalkboard/overhead. Why? Most people will write down what they think is important. Those same items will appear on tests. Of course, you have to stay awake for all of this but that's your problem.

Dear Daisy,
I need to find out 7 countries in Africa and the main products of each. Send to Nicole D. at the above Email address.

Dear Nicole,
You know, having an email address you can write to for any kind of information at all is quite great, don't you think? It's made my life so much easier. I never have to do much work aside from sending a message. What's the technical support phone number for Microsoft? Send an email and get the answer! What time does the movie start? Send email! Where's the nearest gas station? Send email! Who wrote "War & Peace"? Email! Gross national product of China? Email. When's your Aunt Jenny's wedding date? The
dimensions of a hockey rink? Email.

The only problem is I don't know much more than how to send email asking for all the answers.

And what ever happened to the word "please", anyway? If we can't make kids say it, who's going to use it at all?!? Sheesh.

Dear Daisy,
I have a problem. I have a friend who is a hermaphrodite. The problem isn't with the friend but with what I should refer to my friend as. When I am telling others about my friend, I am confused as to whether I should refer to my friend as "he" or "she" so I just say "it". Is there a proper pronoun I could use instead??? I wouldn't want to hurt its feelings.

Searching for the Right Word

Dear Searching,
This problem is much more common than you think. It was just a couple weeks ago, in fact, that I was discussing this very issue with a bunch of my friends, most of which are hermaphrodites. We came to the conclusion that since, technically, these folks are both sexes they had a right to choose which sex they prefer to be identified with. They must make this choice sooner or later, or avoid using public restrooms and locker rooms. And since each person makes the choice themselves, all I can do is ask each how they prefer to be referred to. Jeez, it's not like they have anything to hide or anything.

Dear Daisy,
I would like to know how my brain works.

Thanks,
Ahmed

Dear Ahmed,
The human brain contains a group of miniature trolls. These trolls are responsible for every function from the human body from emotions and memories to operating our limbs when we wish to move. What most people don't know is these trolls have minds and wills of their own and we must treat them with respect otherwise they'll start talking in my head again and I'll be forced to try to remove them with an awl. Respect your trolls, Ahmed. They're you're best friends. But they can be your worst enemies.