Dear Daisy,
I would like to know how and why Canada got its flag. If you could answer this question I would be very grateful.
Thanks,
Aaron

Dear Aaron,
Canada is like this weird parallel universe to that of the United States. Kind of a bizzaro world for you Superman fans. It looks like America but it doesn't. Canadians, except those who speak French (and I use that term loosely), sound much like Americans but not quite. I spent three weeks near the Canadian border once with a bunch of folks from the north and the whole time I couldn't figure out why they kept talking about some damn boat. Finally, near the end of those three weeks, I realized they were saying "about" but they pronounce it "a-boat". That really freaked my shit out. And their z's aren't "zee"'s but "zed"'s. But Zed's dead, baby. It's all too much for me too handle. I could guess that their flag has a maple leaf on it because there's plenty of maple trees in that country but you're asking a guy who thought Canadians spent way too much time talking about boats.

Dear Daisy,
Why do you like to teach? What are your philosophies on teaching children in today's world?
Sincerely,
Sedona

Dear Sedona,
I've never though of Dear Daisy as teaching as much as guiding. Empirical information aside, I believe every person, regardless of age, has the answer to all problems within themselves; they just need the confidence and clarity of mind to discover the answers.
How would I teach facts and figures? Certainly not the way I learned them: memorization, drilling and testing. Information doesn't matter much when the person who's supposed to be remembering it all doesn't have any reason to retain it. If you give a person responsibility for a task and provide the information they require to complete that task, they're more likely to remember it and complete the task successfully. The bonus to this method is that kids learn without realizing they're learning so before they have a chance to rebel against the educational system they've already become smart.
And if you're a teacher or if there's teachers reading this: if you make a mistake, admit it. You're not fooling anyone and you're just giving your students all the more reason to dis you.

Dear Daisy,
Can you tell me why Elvis Presley's middle name is spelled wrong on the headstone of his grave?
DL

Dear DL,
No. My therapist says that admitting my lack of knowledge moves me closer to being God-like. Or maybe that's dog-like. I dunno... I never listen to him anyway.

Dear Daisy,
I have had my eye on ONE guy for almost a year now and STILL I can't get the nerve to say something to him..everyone says he's a really nice guy but it doesn't help me out..I've asked around about him but the only things i know are:he's 22 and he makes great cappuccino (cuz he works at a coffee house).. What I'm tryin to ask is..how would I approach him?? What scares guys off and what intrigues them? Please help me Daisy
Thanx!
~Sam

Dear ~Sam,
Take a huge head of broccoli with you next time you visit and right before he turns around and looks at you wedge it between your two front teeth. If he doesn't notice that, man, he's blind.

Dear Daisy,
My nose is the size of a football do you have any nose shrinking tips?

Dear Dr. Shrinker,
I don't know of any way to shrink a nose without using fishing line, Flavor Ice and a rusty machete.
I thought all of those art classes I took in school would never pay off, but I think I have some suggestions for you. My training in the arts tells me that if you increase the proportions of the rest of your noggin', that will make your nose look smaller.
Or you could create a separate focal point to which the viewer's eyes are drawn. A nose ring would not be a good idea. A swastika tattoo on your forehead would certainly draw attention, and probably some blood out of the aforementioned nose.