Aries March 21-April, 19
Aries, You've got the music in you, among other things. Don't forget that leaving prosthetics inside you for more than a couple of hours may be hazardous to your health. You don't want to explain that do you?

Taurus April 20 - May 21
You have been wondering what you r real talent is in life and since hooker is fun it just isn't profitable. Try a singing career. Better yet, what about a singing hooker? That is original and well before it's time.

Gemini May 21 - June 21
You march to the beat of a different drummer, but you always have. Seems like now the beat goes on and you haven't the desire to go on. Re-kindle that spark and get laid. See what that does to your tom-tom.

Cancer June 22 - July 22
Now that the party is over doesn't mean that the music has stopped. You keep dancing even if there is no music. Some call you crazy I call you daring. Keep dancing and reaching for those stars.

Leo July 23 - August 2
You are the drum major in the great band of life. Now go out there and put together a band. Of course the fun of that is auditioning them. Who says you can't have a casting couch to get a nice piece of brass?

Virgo August 23 - September 22
The sound of silence is what everybody else hears, but you have your own music channel installed in your head. It may be from an old filling in a tooth or it might be that metal plate in your head. Who cares?

Libra September 23 - October 22
You dance like Isadora Duncan and sing like Maria Calas but that doesn't mean a thing if you aren't getting laid. Combine your talents and join a Taurus on a street corner and start a hooker choir. Great Idea huh?

Scorpio October 23 - November 21
Gone are the days of old disco but you still love the hustle. Every night you're out at the clubs pointing your fingers in and out repeatedly. Some people do mind. Stop it!

Sagittarius November 22 - December 21
How many times can you "Blame it on the Bosa Nova?" but if it ain't broke don't fix it. But by now it certainly is well used. Kind of like a well oiled baseball mitt.

Capricorn December 22 - January 19
At first you were afraid, you were petrified, well that didn't last long. It wasn't long before you knew them all literally! But that is your nature. Lure them in suck the fun out of them and leave them for the next.

Aquarius January 20 - February 18
You can always get someone's attention by whistling; you know how to whistle, just put your lips together and blow.slut. By the way, Happy Birthday!

Pisces February 19 - March 20
In your dreams you dance, in your mind you hear beautiful music. Don't you hate to wake up and smell Juan Valdez? Well, unless he's laying next to you naked, in a quivering heap, spent from a night of sex.