Dear Daisy,
Do you know how to get candle wax out of 1000 count Egyptian Cotton Sheets?
Thanks,
Oops

Dear Oops,
I was beginning to wonder if all those years I spent in Home Ec. class were going to pay off, but Oops, my friend, you've given me reason to believe my efforts were not in vain. I make a pretty mean muffin, too.
I know the following trick works well for carpet but it should work pretty well for 1000 count sheets as well. Collect several paper bags. The kind we'd get when we visited the grocery store back in the 80's. Cut them into pieces roughly the size of the wax-affected areas. Place one piece underneath the spot and another on top. Take an ordinary household iron, turn off the steam function and set it to low. You'll probably need to experiment with the temperature of the iron to get it right but the goal is to set it so it's just warm enough to melt the wax into the paper but not so cool that it will take you two months to finish the job. Next time lay our some old towels when you are dripping wax on..well, you know what I mean.

Dear Daisy,
I was wondering what your astrological sign is...can you tell me that at least? PLEASE? It would make my day a lot brighter...
Curious,
*Stargazer*

Dear *Stargazer*,
Oh geez. You people put me on the spot sometimes. While, like most people, I think astrology is crap, I can't help but feel compelled to pay attention to it. It's a lot like religion in a way: it sounds absurd but you're inclined to believe it just in case it's all true. What I really should do is solicit opinions as to what sign you folks think I am. According to my email, some think I was born under the sign "Fat Bastard" but if that were true I'd tell in a minute.
Am I going tell you? I dunno. My pride prompts me to tell but my ferocity wants to drive you away. I suppose if there's a loud enough roar from the readers, I'd get some courage and tell. But maybe I'm a' lyin'.

Dear Daisy,
I am setting up my first saltwater fish tank, and I need to know which is better; well water or city water. I'm sure you are very knowledgeable on this subject, as with all.
A fish called
Wanda

Dear fish (I have always wanted to do that!),
I once mixed together some vinegar and baking soda in my mouth, and when I started foaming at the mouth I ran to my mom yelling, "Ma! A big dog bit me!" She didn't think it was funny.
And that, in itself, is the answer to the question: neither. As Dear Daisy understands it, city water contains chlorine and fluoride, as well as potentially many other human added chemicals that are poisonous to most fish. Well water, while closer to the natural state most fish live in, could also be contaminated by nearby chemical runoff.
To properly ensure your fish tank doesn't turn in to a fish death row, use purified water. Your fish thank you.

I hope you know a little about engines Daisy,
I have a small block 350 right now that I am rebuilding right now and want some help on some of the parts, It's sort of going to be a hot rod engine but not like for drag race use only, I would like to know if I should use hydraulic or a solid, or a roller cam, what about the lifters, for the valve lifters should I use the hydraulic kind the solid kind or the solid roller kind.
Thanx for any help Daisy,
SC!!

Dear SC,
I'm sorry but my penis is much too large to know that much about cars. Why don't you ask one of those dumb asses who have got one of them real cool jacked up pickups or something... I'm sure their peni are plenty small.