Dear Daisy,
My lover and I have been together for over a year now and lately when he comes home from work he looks at me like I am a piece of meat. We used to have dinner and a quiet evening then make love. Now he walks in the door and we FUCK! I'm not complaining, but, by the time he is finished dinner is cold and I am worn out. Please Daisy, how can we get things back in balance again?
Signed,
Cold Meat CakesDear Cakes,
I have two simple pieces of advice for you, get a crock pot and take a nap! This erratic behavior is probable just that. He is most likely under a lot of stress at work and this is his release. I also suggest that you be ready for him and catch him off guard. When he walks through that door, jump on him like a cat on a cockroach! Then make him take you to dinner. These tips might start to put things back on track, but bear in mind there is always the fun of a couple making love and just plain fucking.
Dear Daisy,
Barney and Betty Rubble have just adopted Bamm-Bamm, the strongest boy in the world, and he is almost old enough to peddle a car on his own....He finds that after being rejected by guys with whom he wants to hang around, he gets a girl and spends all his free time with her -- her name is Pebbles....Bamm-Bamm starts to get confused about whether or not he is straight or gay... he would rather kiss Pebbles, but he would like to bamm bamm bamm a guy. What is wrong with Bamm-Bamm??
Signed,
Bamm-Bamm Rubble
Dear Bamm-Bamm,
Yabba-dabba-doo! You're as normal as Raybans in Rockapulco. Primitive or modern, everyone getstheir rocks off in different ways... at different times in their lives. For many, it's by thinking only about Pebbles, while for others, Elroy Jetson's bone is the only one worth fetchin' (Daisy knows, wrong cartoon, but just work with her). And still for others, both Lisa Simpson and Kenny over at South Park provide that all-important spark.
Bamm-Bamm's only "wrong" would come from burying his feelings in a quarry full of guilt, worry, and denial. Your feelings and fantasies are "right" because they are yours and common because they are shared by cave-dwellers everywhere. Why, Daisy bets that even Sharon Stone and Hugh Granite have questioned their sexuality at one time or another.
Could you talk with Mr. and Mrs. Flintstone about your concerns? (Well, maybe not Fred.) Or, how about Mr. Slate -- he's no Neanderthal. If reading is more your thing, the Bedrock Barnes & Noble across from Jurassic Park is sure to have some titles of interest in their Sexuality and Psychology sections.
Dear Daisy,
My boyfriend has very low self-esteem, and it's starting to get on my nerves. I want a boyfriend who I can talk to about anything, that is, anything but suicide. He's always saying things like, "I suck at life." It's so bad that I just want to end the relationship -- but I don't want to hurt his feelings. I feel trapped. Daisy, do you have any suggestions?
Signed,
Not Feeling Groovy,
Dear Un-Groovy
Hmmm... Why, yes I do. Dump him. Criminy! How many times do I have to tell you chicken necks that having a boyfriend is not the only reason to exist. Contrary to popular belief, having a shitty ass boyfriend is not better than having no boyfriend. So what if your boyfriend has low self-esteem. So does everyone else. But when his low self-esteem starts making you feel bad and making you feel like you can't dump him, its emotional abuse. Jesus. Get it together, boys. For real, I am not trying to be a bitch but as I said we can all have low self esteem or we can pick ourselves up by our pump straps and be fabulous. Some days it's easier than others believe me, but it can be done.
