
In our sub-culture made
up of many sub-cultures, labels have always been in vogue. Fag,
queen, dyke, trannie, fag hag, and now we have added barebackers,
gift-givers, and bug-chasers. Have we really forgotten what the
meaning of the word "POZ" is and was? Have we forgotten
all about our fallen brothers and sisters?
Jo-Jo and I represent two generations of club-life. I, the later.
We have outlived most of, if not all of our worlds. Respectively,
we present to you "The Ultimate Conversation". It is
a conversation that we have shared with each other, and now with
you. We hope that you will never have to engage in such a moment
of shock and silence. But, we are not blind and know that many
of you have and will.
THE ULTIMATE CONVERSATION (phone rings)
B.B.- Hi honey! What happen???
J.J.- I had severe pain
and walked into the ER; they ran a bunch of tests. They found
cancer! I don't have health insurance. I had to have surgery,
and they also informed me that I'm HIV+!!! My levels are really
low, so I have to start the cocktail immediately! And then, Chemo...
B.B.- My god, hon! We are
now both fightin' the good fight together! You are at the beginning
and I've been battling' since 1987 in silence. You know Jo, you
are much stronger than I am, and it is a different time, you'll
be okay. I hope 'ya know how much I love 'ya.
J.J.- You know, I went
out the other day with my brother, just to clear my mind. I was
talking to this really nice guy. When he went to get a drink,
my brother's Diesel queen friends came running up to me. They
told me that he had the "Total Package", and that I
really shouldn't be speaking to him.
B.B.- What is it with this
new club generation? I mean, lately, I've heard so much CRAP about
how they treat each other.
J.J.- I said to them,
"Isn't that for him to tell me?" They just blew me off.
B.B.- It seems to me that
they, the new generation, have become so self-involved in their
own club, sex, drugs, after hours, and Pfizer with Tina scene.
They seem so Helen Keller about it all. You know like, if, one
of them get sick, they just drop them like dead weight so they
can keep up with the fast pace. I'm sorry, but life is not Will
and Grace!
J.J.- Byrd, I felt so
bad for him. He knew they told me, so he then avoided me all night.
B.B.- Isn't it funny, Jo-Jo, how we use to do drugs to be part of the life and now we take drugs to have a life.
Perhaps, I am a club relic, but I am truly proud to be part of this wonderful industry for 29 year. Yes, the rumors are true! I did do the door at the Last Supper. I have seen many of you and yours come and go. I no longer have any emotions on the whole death issue. I understand, now, that is it all a part of the natural cycle of life and spirituality. My true emotions are those of anger, sadness, and yes, joy/love. Bizarre huh?
We must return to those
times, actions, and compassions of past decades. Many of you believe
"The Package" is a just myth! Well, it's not! We must
reach out to each other, of all labels and club generations. Many,
of the new generation, have not yet experienced that moment when
the world seems to stand still as their loved one breathes their
last breath on this planet. We must embrace each other, stand
with, not behind or in front of each other.
I am the first and last person many of you see at clubs and events,
that is the life of a door whore. But, most importantly, I am
now your silent reminder. Play safe, take care of each other,
your brothers and sisters who are fighting the good fight need
your love, compassion, and strength, now more than ever. For all
the cares that are thrown to the winds, sadly at this rate, you
will be in their situation one day!
To be gay, lesbian, and transgender means much more than just
a fuckin' label. It means to be united and to be a family. These
past months, I find myself wondering what ever happened to Act-Up
and Queer Nation, and why did we not back them up? The battle
is not over. Perhaps we have just forgotten our own history.
"I witnessed this injustice and I just let it happen! I didn't
get involved in the process. I forgot to use my voice. I forgot
to believe in myself. But, NOW, I know better. I know that one
honest voice can be louder than a crowd. I know that if we lose
our voice, or let those who speak in our behalf compromise our
voice, well then, this country is in for a really bad haircut...
So speak up America!!!"
-E. Woods - Legally Blonde 2