Aries March 21-April, 19 Aries, as you approach the birthday phase, your energy seems to be bursting at the seams. This does not mean that you are getting too big for your britches, but if it feels that way just take them off. Taurus April 20 - May 21 With any luck, you were showered with gifts and candy. Hopefully the gesture came from somebody other than your self. It gets a little spooky when you start sending cards to yourself. Gemini May 21 - June 21 Grabbing the gusto is paramount now that you have tasted the sweet nectar of love. Go for it and suck the fun out of life. Go down on life, suck it, oh yesyes,.YES!!!! Cancer June 22 - July 22 Still testing the waters? Dive in and get it all wet. If it was good enough for Bo Derrick, it certainly is good enough for you. Leo July 23 - August 22 Your roar is getting you a lot of attention, what, with all the grumbling. If the squeaky wheel gets the oil, you should be greased up and ready to go! Take advantage if it by playing a game of Naked Twister. Virgo August 23 - September 22 Does it feel like you've been living your life out of a bag? Well wake up and smell the burlap, Mary. If it looks like a sewer and it smells like a sewer, it must be Paula Sinclare. Libra September 23 - October 22 Looking for love in all the wrong places? Find a Virgo and keep an eye out for Paula. Scorpio October 23 - November 21 All you can do is sit and brood over the weather. Well spring is just around the corner and you sit and wait like the spider for the fly. But then you always were more for quantity than quality. Sagittarius November 22 - December 21 Still fucking your way through the winter in search of Mr. Right? That was your excuse last summer, fall and last spring too. That's OK, as long as you're not mistaken for an Aquarius. Capricorn December 22 - January 19 The bond between a mother and child can not be explained. I don't know what that has to do with your horoscope but think about it and maybe you can make sense of it. I couldn't. Aquarius January 20 - February 18 Some things you can always count on, Slut! Pisces February 19 - March 20 Dive in to your dark side, but don't take that the wrong way, we all know about the "Piscean anal fixation". "If you want to make them hum, stick something in their bum!" Until next time, spring has sprung, fall has fell. Winter is here and it's colder than usual...Ms. Mae