Dear Daisy,
So my friends and I were out drinking, and I accidentally drunk hooked-up with a friend. Always a bad idea. We laughed it off, but I see him every day and now I have a bit of a crush on him. I can't tell what he thinks; everything's the same as before except that we no longer have any secrets...What should I do?
Signed,
Jackass
Dear Jackass,
If you knew as many bakeheads/chronics/stoners as I have you'd better understand the point of confusion. Lemme explain: the more-often-than-not pot smoker lives in a world slightly different than that of someone whose cold sober except for that one time at the office holiday party when he hooked up with Marty from the mailroom. Everyone talked about that for years! Now I'm not saying the purple haze filled world is any better or worse than the cold sober world. Frankly, they both have their advantages. The worlds, still, are different meaning something that could be true in the sober world might not be true when one is nicely baked. The same is true for alcohol. Your friend's feelings about you might vary depending on whether he's drunk. I've known several "couples" who didn't care for each other much when sober but add a little liquor and WHAMMY, they're locked together tighter than Bush and Blair. Afterwards they realize it was a bad idea. The couples do too.So your mate's feelings about you may vary depending on his state of inebriation. What should you do? Play it cool: time reveals all.
Dear Daisy,
Should you talk during sex or just make grunting and moaning noises?
Dear Reader,
Why not, (c) ALL OF THE ABOVE! The best answer to your reasonable question would most certainly include talking with your partner about whether it would be okay to chat a bit while sexually engaged.Grunting and moaning, and even silence, by themselves aren't bad, but like cave dwellers from yesteryear, these sounds can limit your expressing what's really on your mind, and may foster misunderstanding and miscommunication about what you do and don't want. This raises another question: do you have an idea of what you'd like to say to your partner during sex? Sex talkers' "conversations" range from a slow, seductive shower of compliments such as, "Your eyes look so beautiful... you're so hot... you feel so good... you're so hairy;" to the fantasy-filled, "Being stranded on this deserted island with you means we can stay here forever;" to the more direct, "I want you" or "I love you." You can also gather information about what rocks your companion's boulders, and how s/he should pet your dinosaur - in the name of more enjoyable, consensual, and safer sex.
And, for those who long for lengthier sex-play, discussing amongst yourselves while doing it can be a nice remedy for the "Oh, baby... yeah... I'm... Goodnight" syndrome.One of the great things about intimacy between people is that, with trust and respect established, you can feel safe and sure to know that whatever is said stays with both of you, bringing you closer.
Daisy is not a licensed therapist or self proclaimed know-it-all but between her and the researchers at Daisy Mae Laboratories they do know a lot and love to help.
