con·gre·ga·tion (k_ng'gr_-g_'sh_n) noun.
1. A body of assembled people or things; a gathering.
2. The act of assembling.

When the word "congregation" is used it usually refers to a religious gathering of congregants who share a belief system and a common set of principles. For purposes of this "Where To Find Men" issue of BOI, the congregation being written about in this article is that of men who like other men, whether they call themselves gay, bi, queer, or questioning. And the fondness these GBQQ men share for one another is not based on having similar genitalia (as is the case for straight men), it is in part based on a shared worship of, and devotion to, another man's penis,testicles, and ass (PTA).

Whereas religious congregations typically meet once a week at the same house of worship to practice their religion and to kneel down in prayer to profess their love for their god, congregational meetings of GBQQ men desperately wanting to kneel down before the objects of their devotion, PTA, occur every day and night of the week at multiple locations - indoors and out - throughout the city. Some of these congregants are so devout that they seek to worship the PTA three, four, even five times a week. They look to have fellowship with men they already know, make new friends with guys who also worship the almighty PTA, and hopefully by the end of the evening have their faith renewed by being bathed in the richness, and ingesting the nourishment, that the PTA can offer.

So where do male PTA worshippers congregate in Chicago? Well, there are a few large cathedral-type facilities that are always open (24/7/365) and available to provide spiritual guidance to all GBQQ men who seek it. And as with organized religion, there are .smaller PTA parishes throughout the city that have a more specific demographic and/or geographic focus.

Cathedrals
In the Windy City there are three so-called "cathedral" buildings that allow male PTA worshippers to easily meet each other 24 hours a day. Downtown at the Bijou Theater (1349 N. Wells | www.bijouworld.com ), congregants clothed in their personal threads are ministered to via a weekly video presentation that shows proper advanced practice of PTA worship. These practices can then literally be practiced on-site: either in the theater area where critiques and participation by others may occur, or in other areas of the venue, including the Holes of Glory, that offer varying levels of privacy. The Bijou is the oldest house of worship of its type (i.e. all-male sex club) in America and as such has arguably facilitated more meetings of men than any other venue in the world.

In Boystown, the Steamworks multi-functional PTA worship center (aka, the men's gym and bathhouse located at 3246 N. Halsted | www.steamworksonline.com ) is in fact an international shrine of sorts. Attracting men from all over the world, this spacious multi-level structure is kind of like Mecca for the men who take their PTA worship seriously. While the impressively large 50-person Jacuzzi/whirlpool may be reminiscent of an old-fashioned fundamentalist baptismal area, Steamworks is a decidedly modern facility complete with a gym and pulsating dance music programmed live on the weekends (during evening and after hours) by DJs. In addition to congregating in various public areas throughout Steamworks to achieve an orgiastic expression of joy and salvation, towel-clad visitors - many of whom reflect that wholesome and attractive type that has come to represent Boystown over the years - can also choose to pray with just one, two, or three others in their own private room.

The private rooms are popular among these small groups of worshippers who want to intensely strengthen their love and intimate understanding of men and PTA. For some, especially those in rooms with slings, the enclosed space acts as both a confessional booth and a place where repentance and atonement can occur. Instead of a priest and "Hail Marys," a fellow Steamworks congregant can prescribe a penance - a friction-based activity involving the PTA perhaps - and then mete it out personally. The ministerial benefits and effectiveness of these rooms is unquestioned given the loud and forceful exultations of "Oh God!" and "Jesus Christ!" that ring out non-stop morning, noon, and night. Repentant congregants are often heard dutifully accepting their fates: "Oh my god, that hurts but keep going, I can take it."

The third PTA cathedral, the Man'sCountry bathhouse (5015 N. Clark | www.manscountrychicago.com ), is located in Andersonville and has been led ably for more than 35 years by owner Chuck Renslow, a devout leader of the GBQQ PTA community. Another multi-level facility, Man'sCountry is an "old-style" bathhouse complete with a large entertainment hall that every Friday and Saturday night features male dancers performing as if they were the original inhabitants of the Garden of Eden, before the apple was bitten into. This historical Chicago location over the years has been featured in all-male PTA worship/instructional videos and it's quite well known for its diverse and welcoming congregation, which includes men of different colors, ethnic backgrounds, ages, and body types.

PTA Parish Directory
If you want to meet men in a smaller, less structured environment in order to pay homage to their PTA, there are several outposts - let's call them parishes - in the city that can bring you in very close proximity to potential new friends. In addition to selling magazines, videos, materials, and equipment for private in-home consumption, some of these parishes allow for immediate on-site personal reflection and PTA instruction via individual video review booths. Some of the parishes have also seen congregants organize themselves, right then and there, into prayer tandems and small groups in order to experience PTA experiences, be it out in the open for all to see or within the confines of the almighty Holes of Glory. .

In Andersonville, Banana Video (4923 N. Clark) has been servicing northsiders for years, principally selling supplies and equipment for home use and offering "adult instructional" videos for sale and rent. Banana is open daily until 2am (4am on Fridays and Saturdays) and has a screening room and numerous video booths available on-site for those who need immediate instruction. Banana's sister parish in Boystown, Ram Bookstore (3511 N. Halsted), also offers a wide range of merchandise and DVDs for sale and has an impressive amount of space and video booths for on-site PTA worship. Catering to both the neighborhood and the many PTA worshippers who visit the area for nighttime bar and clubbing activities, the Ram's daily hours (9:30am-6am) allow for plenty of late night opportunities for men to meet like-minded men. The other Boystown PTA parish hall is Machine Shop (3704 N. Halsted), a late night after-hours gathering spot next to Cell Block. There is some serious worshipping going on here!

Auto Ministry
While participation is definitely greater in the spring and summer, PTA worshippers have found each other in their respective cars at various places in the Chicagoland, even during these cold weather months. Most popular in the city is the 1-mile stretch of road along the Lakefront, between Montrose and Foster Avenues, called N Simonds Dr. Just east of Lake Shore Dr., this gathering ground is most heavily traveled by men seeking other men during lunch hours, rush hours in the afternoon, and the couple of hours preceding the 11pm nightly closing of the road by the city. For suburban worshippers, automobile PTA congregants rely on the many Cook County Forest Preserve parking lots. [Etiquette note: If you see a wedding band and a child's safety seat in the back of a congregant's automobile, don't jump to conclusions. Just concentrate on the PTA worship you're about to engage in.]

For information about other Tea Rooms and congregational cruise spots in the Chicago area and beyond, check out www.squirt.org, the online bible for PTA worshippers seeking to find other like-minded men.