Ok, since this is the Dating Issue, let's take a look at the various clubs, bars and events in the community from that perspective.

Special Events
If you want to take your date to a live musical presentation, then "The Flesh Hungry Dog Show" on Jackhammer's stage @ 9pm on Friday, February 1 is the place. The monthly queer, alternative, rock 'n' burlesque cabaret features Devin and the Straights, The Beazley Phillips Band and newcomers Cobalt. The show will also feature prize giveaways and DJ Sky.

If you and your significant other are looking to have a night out on the town while also making a charitable contribution, then don't miss the "Chicago Takes Off - Under The Big Top" burlesque event on Saturday, February 9 @ the Park West (322 W. Armitage). There are two shows that night @ 7pm and 10pm with more than 60 performers, primarily from Chicago's dance community. Tickets are $50-$300 with proceeds benefiting TPAN's HIV/AIDS programming. Info & tickets: 773.989.9400 or www.tpan.com.

If you are interested in a dating pool consisting of folks who probably scored really well on their SATs, Nerds At Heart presents "Love Fest 2008" on Tuesday, February 12, 7pm-10pm, @ The Spot (4437 N Broadway). The event is open to both straight and queer geeks of all ages looking for matches. Admission ($20 advance/$25 door) includes a complimentary cocktail and chances to win tickets to The Sparrow and Wicked. Info: www.nerdsatheart.com or 312-265-6085

The Dating Game?
If you are looking to have as many "dates" as possible in a short period of time (like within 6 hours) then you might want to check out one of the two bathhouses here in town. Steamworks, features a "Lights Out" party every Thursday night. During late night hours on Fridays and Saturdays DJ Dick spins a sexy groove. Up in Andersonville at Man's Country, you can take a break from the cruising on Friday and Saturday nights to check out the all-nude stripper shows featuring the men of Sarabia.

Show-Off
If you want to parade the hottie with whom you are on a date, then be sure to impress the gay masses who hang out on the weekends at the video bar Sidetrack. And if the date goes well, be sure to return to Sidetrack with that hottie on Tuesday, February 5 for the special "Mardi Gras Party."

If you and your date are in a stylish mood and want to be amongst the pretty people, Minibar is the place to be seen, especially on Fridays (DJ Oskar) or Sundays (DJ Chris Eterno). If you and your date are coming in from the suburbs, make sure to get a 2-for-1 entertainment experience at Roscoe's: conversation and videos in the front bar and dancing in the rear part of the club. On Tuesday, February 5, Roscoe's "Drag Race 2008" features host Frida Lay and guest performer Teri Yaki. And if you are looking for a Boystown outpost that seemingly combines the best aspects of all the other nearby bars, check out Scarlet, which features DJs AJ Dubbz and Carla Starla on Saturdays.

Delusional Dating
Sometimes the only date you can get is with your right hand once you get back home. This type of date usually involves a fantasy about a hot stud go-go boy you saw earlier when you were out. Cocktail's Spank Go-Go bars are some of the hottest around and shake their money makers to the house beats of DJs Freddie Bain (Fridays) and Michael Serafini (Tuesdays). Down the street at Lucky Horseshoe, strippers perform seven days a week strutting their stuff on the bars. In Andersonville, strippers are aplenty at @mosphere, especially on Saturday nights with DJ Timmy Loop.

Vampire Dating
If your date lasts long enough to the point where you two are headed to an after-hours dance club, that could be a good thing: you seemingly like to spend time with each other. But also a bad thing: you probably ain't getting any that night otherwise you'd be headed to bed and not the dance floor. Or maybe you two are actually looking for a third! If that's the case, you'd be wise to check out the horny bois at Berlin on either a Friday night ("Cosmix" w/ DJ Greg Haus) or Saturday night ("Twisted" w/ DJs Chester & Larissa). Other Boystown after-hours joints that may lead to "transactional" or "situational" dating (aka one-night stands) include Circuit's new "All-Star Saturdays" on February 9 w/ DJ Teri Bristol and Charlie's w/ DJ Lightning LuLu on weekends. There's also late-night fun at Hydrate (w/ DJ Ralphi Rosario on February 2 and DJ Roland Belmares on February 9) as well as at Jackhammer, the north side danceteria that features DJ Oskar on Tuesdays and Thursdays. Finally, on Mondays "Boom Boom Room" @ Green Dolphin Street continues its legendary house music parties featuring resident DJs Michael Serafini, Diz, JustJoey, and Uncle Milty.

Diversity Dating
When the hip-hop crowd dates, they usually end up at the Prop House on Fridays where DJ Ransom reigns supreme. DJs Anton & Kenae pump out the urban blend for happy couples downtown for "Xotik" on Saturdays @ Tokyo 21 and for "Penthouse" on Sundays @ Club 720. In Boystown, the hip-hop groove is featured at "Ear-Rotic" with DJ Stoney @ Spin on Saturday, February 2.

If you're looking for a potential date with a Latin cowboy, you can find them strutting in sharp boots and hats throughout the weekend on the southside at Chesterfield Club and on Sunday, February 3, for "Noche Latina" @ Circuit w/ hostess Veronica Zaid and DJs Fast Freddy & Alex Perez. New Latino-centered events include Sundays @ Jackhammer, Tuesdays @ Hydrate, and weekends in the southwest suburb of Berwyn for "Boom Boom Room" @ La Quinta de los Reyes (6739 W Ogden Ave).

When Your Wallet Is Thin
If you and your date are in a post-holiday cash-crunch, there are many options available. Kit Kat Lounge & Supper Club offers up _-price martinis on Sundays and Tuesdays and free wine on Thursdays. Wednesdays at Spin there's the world famous $1 drink night every Wednesday w/ DJ Chris Eterno while up in Andersonville Mary's Attic has $2 house shots for "Attic-tion Saturdays" w/ DJ Plez. Drinks are just plain cheap at neighborhood bars Granville Anvil, North End, Manhandler, Bobby Loves, Little Jim's, Buck's Saloon, and Scot's, and of course there's the free midnight shot for everyone at Big Chicks.

When northwest suburbanites date they usually end up at Hunters, especially on Wednesdays for "MWM" with guest DJs Plez (February 6) and Ken-E (February 13). Daters in the southern suburbs complete their nights at Club Krave w/ DJs Rockin' RC and Pervy on Fridays and Saturdays, respectively.

"At the end of the night I'll tie you up!"
The fetish community likes to date as well and finds its way to Touché on Tuesdays for "Hardcore Leather Night" and on Thursdays for "Handballer Night." Every night is leather night at Cell Block in Boystown and at the Chicago Eagle, which has a dress code for its Club Room on Fridays, Saturdays, and Tuesdays. BTW, many in the leather community will be heading to west the weekend of February 8-10 looking for dates at the "CornHOLED" party during Iowa Leather Weekend in Des Moines.