Love is in the air, well isn't it always? My heart has been broken so many times; I had to swallow a sponge to keep it pumping. So what is all the Hoop-la about Valentine's Day anyway? I see it as a colossal waste of trees, and empty promises. There is a saying about having a broken heart for every light bulb in Times Square. Well start stocking up on light bulbs.

How did this gift giving, rent a limo, take me to dinner and I might put out greeting card sending, love mucking Valentine's Day tradition come about? One legend contends that Valentine was a priest who served during the third century in Rome. When Emperor Claudius II decided that single men made better soldiers than those with wives and families, he outlawed marriage for young men -- his crop of potential soldiers. Valentine, realizing the injustice of the decree, defied Claudius and continued to perform marriages for young lovers in secret. When Valentine's actions were discovered, Claudius ordered that he be put to death.

Other stories suggest that Valentine may have been killed for attempting to help Christians escape harsh Roman prisons where they were often beaten and tortured.

How about a romantic blood bath? Here, in Chicago history prevails with the St. Valentines Murders. As any mystery lover knows, a murder mystery would not be complete without a clear and well defined conclusion, but in the case of the St. Valentine's Day Massacre, it has every element of the mystery, but the ending. Al Capone was never arrested for the crimes; the mysterious gun men were never identified and Capone never graced a reader or interested member of the public with an over dramatic confession. Instead, he was blandly indicted for tax evasion some years later and spent seven years in prison only to be released to retire in Florida, where he died from Syphilis in 1947. Ain't love grand?

Hearts and candy and all that "sweet" stuff, it's just a mockery to me, regardless of whether or not you are with someone. If you are, great! If not now, how do you feel? Like shit! Of course you do, we all do. And if you have a partner, you have the "responsibility" of remembering; finding the right gift of sugar free or real chocolates in a box shaped like a heart with satin ribbon. Or is that too tacky?

It also might push you into something that you might not be ready for. Relationships take an incredible amount of work. It isn't all sunshine, lollipops and rainbow flags; it's keeping a roof over your head and the occasional Circuit party weekend as a treat for good behavior. If you do it all right, then you don't have to worry about the inevitable comparisons. "Oh your watch is beautiful, Valentine's Day?" "Yes, and I can't help noticing your ring, and did you see the car Miss Thing drove in?" "Valentine's Day". But let's not forget the sexual comparison. Well, we won't even go there because we all know it's not true, but then again, some of y'all are real freaks.

Now we just can't forget about the "Even on Valentine's Day you can't get a date" date. This consists of a quart of Ben & Jerry's ice cream, maybe some Twinkies, Doritos's and some herbal tea, because you do want the appearance that you take care of yourself. Then there's a stop by the video store with the hope there are some movies that don't remind you of dating. You grab a comedy and end up feeling so bad after you get home that you end up watching Lifetime Network and sharing a pizza with your cat.

Nope, you just can't avoid it because it's there right after Christmas. I am still seeing a therapist to prepare for Easter and now we have Valentine's Day stuck in there, is it really that official? So if you don't get the day off with pay, I say its just coincidence that on February 14th that people that are eating together at a nice restaurant are just hungry. Those folks buying those heart shaped chocolates really just wanted an assortment. But if that is the kind of crap you go for, have fun, play safe and go dutch!