Aries: March 21-April, 19
The remainder of the month finds you kind of empty. Remember the wages of sin is death but after they take out taxes it is just a tired feeling. So I say go out and have a ball! Sin a little, enjoy yourself.
Taurus April 20 - May 21
You are moving into a new phase. I know, not another phase, but think of it as another hair color or a new outfit. This phase will give you an energy that you have not had for quite some time, do something constructive with it.
Gemini May 21 - June 21
Hold on to your hat! The Tsunami has set the planets in a whirlwind and this may upset your sexual balance. Pay attention to whom you do it with. You may develop something ugly, like a reputation.
Cancer June 22 - July 22
This is your time to reap the harvest. While all those other poor slobs are wondering what to do during all this winter weather, you are like Martha Stewart in a craft shop. Be creative and don't be afraid to explore.
Leo July 23 - August 22
Mighty Leo, take off and look for your prey! Stalk the clubs and look for cubs. It's in your blood and your groin is stirring. You really need to get laid, so quit whining about it and do something about it!
Virgo August 23 - September 22
You are in a quandary, how many dates are too many? Well if you have to carry your butt around in a bucket, the answer should be simple. Take a break; there are others that are in need of sexual healing too!
Libra September 23 - October 22
With the New Year in full swing now, your search for balance is in force. It's difficult to balance job, home and fun, but if anybody can do it you can. After all your medication helps you maintain serenity.
Scorpio October 23 - November 21
What are you thinking? This is a season of cheer and being nice. It seems that your mean streak has set in. Try an enema with sparkling water and a few nights alone with Nick at Night. That ought to make you human again.
Sagittarius November 22 - December 21
Hey! The party is over. Don't you think that it's time you put the bottle down and start sobering up? It's just a suggestion. I know it's a madcap party all year long but of course Thursday is a reason to drink.
Capricorn December 22 - January 19
Happy Birthday Capricorn! You are in for smooth sailing for the next 3 months. So prepare for it. You may want to start a savings account or an IRA. Maybe it's time to find a mate. Well let's not go crazy.
Aquarius January 20 - February 18
Dear Aquarian, for years you have been the brunt of Daisy Mae's Astrological Forecast. I am happy to tell you that 2005 nothing will change. You are still sluts. It has been documented in the Library of Congress thanks to my help.
Pisces February 19 - March 20
You are anxious awaiting your birth phase. It brings you renewal. Try a facelift or a colonic, that will give you a feeling of renewal too! It's all in how you look at it. Either way or either end, they're both fun!
Until Next time. Do something that counts. Ms Mae