Aries March, 21-April, 19
Now that you are semi-sober, you can start to break your New Years resolutions. That is if you can even remember them.

Taurus April, 20 - May, 21
Getting caught up in the moment is not like you, however you did just that. Now you may be stuck with the trick that wouldn't leave.

Gemini May, 21 - June, 21
Now that you have all your gift receipts it's off to the stores to get refunds and exchanges for all those unwanted gifts. But you'll see those still won't make you happy.

Cancer June, 22 - July, 22
Here you go gathering shots and more shots for that long winter hibernation. You have consumed enough alcohol to keep you sleeping for the winter and await an early thaw.

Leo July, 23 - August, 22
You are in charge of nothing at this time, your moon is in retrograde and that leaves you in a tizzy as your ass is exposed like a like an empty room at the ram.

Virgo August, 23 - September, 22
Things are looking up for you now that you have decided that you want to be a fireman when you grow up. Last week it was a Ballerina and a doctor before that it was Lawyer.

Libra September, 23 - October, 22
You got just what you wanted for Christmas, love. Now that you have it is so hard to date. You have to decide what you want; Santa gets so confused in his old age.

Scorpio October, 23 - November, 21
Nothing is sacred for you dear Scorpio, not even a resolution. You break them as soon as you make them.

Sagittarius November, 22 - December, 21
Come one come all and see what all the excitement is all about! You will be fucking like bunnies and starting it all over again!

Capricorn December, 22 - January, 19
With the disappointment of the holidays and the pain of being with your families behind you, now it is back to the life you love! Hateful and deceitful bitchy fags!

Aquarius January, 20 - February, 18
Another year of Sluttery.

Pisces February, 19 - March, 20
Keeping with tradition, you have made your mark in history with generating peace on earth and helping with good will toward men, a lot of men, one at a time, with lots of love and oral gratification.

Until Next timeLive long and prosper! Ms Mae